And now I would like to introduce our speaker to get us started this morning. Mr. Dennis McKinty, a business consultant, gifted keynote speaker and executive coach and author, travels across the world to speak at leadership summits, management training events, and healthcare conferences, just to name a few. His three decade career has included stints in Africa, Poland, Germany, and throughout greater Europe, where he coached and consulted with growing leaders through his experience. Dennis developed a systematic approach to helping his clients reach their goals through coaching, speaking courses, and teaching techniques that enact transformational change. Dennis is the author of The Eight Qualities of Drama-Free Teams, The Power of Pursuit, and Drama-Free Teams in Healthcare. Thank you so much for being here with us this morning, Dennis. And we invite you to go ahead and get it started. Okay. Awesome. Thank you so much, Lindsay. Listen, I'm super excited. Everybody's here. Maybe just put in the chat really quick, who is in the room live? Okay. And where are you from? So where are you from? Who's in the room? Maybe just jump in the chat really quick. And we're going to take some questions at the end. So you can kind of put that in chat or in the Q and A box. And what I told Lindsay at the beginning is I'm super excited she's here because with the question and answer, I'm going to like answer all the easy questions and Lindsay can answer all the hard questions. So, so it's going to be super exciting. Okay. So who we got in the room? We, we got some Missouri. I love it. Kansas city, Columbia. Look at that. Gwinnett County. I've been to Lawton, Oklahoma. Oh my gosh. 4D Lawn and Landscape are my friends. They're in Lawton, Oklahoma, Savannah, Georgia, a couple other. Wow. Look at all this Lawton. Lawton is showing up in the room. Holy cow. Missouri. Well, listen, thank you so much really for being here. And what I thought would be fun. Lindsay's going to put there in the chat. She's going to put the link for three different tools. Okay. So we're going to cover three different thinking tools. And, you know, I was telling Lindsay before we started, it's like, the truth is I really don't have a magic bullet. Right. Cause a lot of times like, like I get where, where we are right. With some of the, some of the staffing, all the staffing challenges that, that we're having and, and that we're seeing in all like the multiple things that we have to do that were never really like sometimes even part of our job description, come on, right. The things that we got to step in and just because there's nobody else to do it. And so we, we step in and do it and then we're overwhelmed. Am I talking to the right group? Right. And so the reality is, is I just want to just maybe just give you three thinking tools that you can go back because the reality is, is that in your, in your environment, right. In your particular position, because of the culture of your hospital and because of that, in the environment, like in your, in your city, right. Cause a lot in Oklahoma, I guarantee is a little bit different than Kansas city, Missouri. Right. And so sometimes we're looking for this silver bullet that this works, but I want to give you three thinking tools today so that you can come up with your own strategies. Okay. So that's really kind of what we want to do. And we, so when we think about retention, all right, I want us to work through three different thinking tools today, and I want you to come up with your own strategies and I'll show you exactly how that works. And in, and I think the core of it here is we want to move from just a manager mindset to a coaching mindset. So let me ask you today, did anybody wake up this morning and go, oh my gosh, I hope I get managed. Man, I'm, I'm really looking forward to being managed today, man. I just, I love to be, oh, manage me. Yes, please. Come on. Anybody in the room and the, on the zoom today say, oh my gosh, I just want to be managed. Of course not. Well, guess what? Just like, you know, I don't like to be managed. You probably don't like to be managed either. Now here's the thing. I love to be led, right? I love to be led, but I don't necessarily like to be managed. And I think people are the same way. And it's, I think we, we manage processes, right? We manage systems. We manage, you know, we manage paper, right? But we lead people. Okay. Now, now I'm not trying to change the language. Okay. Cause I'm not trying to say, well, don't use the word manage anymore, but, but here's where this gap is. Okay. Is really what you manage is you manage the agreements that we make between each other. That's what you manage. When we think about managing people and working with people, because here, here's what I'm a little bit tired of. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of this. Like people act like children. So we treat them like children, right? Now here's the thing, because we treat them like children, they act like children. And so what I want to kind of move to what I'm really against is this adult to child conversations. Okay. And I want us to move to adult to adult conversations. And the way to do that is really have a coaching mindset. Now I want to be the biggest giver in the room. So here's what I want you to do. If you have a phone, you can just take a picture of that QR code, just like you're ordering a pizza, right? Just like you're looking at a menu, right? Amazing restaurants don't even have menus anymore. They got QR codes. I don't know where our, where our world is gone, but here's what I want to give you is I want to give you the focus leader five day challenge, and here's what it is. It's five videos for the next five days. So if you feel like, oh my gosh, I am just so overwhelmed. Am I talking to the right group? Right. I got too much to do. Not enough. You can read my chicken scratch, not enough time. We created the focus leader five day challenge. So if you want to go either scan the QR code or just type in drama free give us your name and just your email address. Now, listen, don't go to our website and do this. Cause I think the team told me it's $99 for this five day challenge. And I just want to give it to you for free. Is that okay? Good or good, right? I just want, I want to be the biggest giver on the zoom today. And I just want to serve and just want to give. And so if that's you, what you're going to get for the next five days, five, listen, like 30 second videos that show you what to do when your to-do list is like overwhelming. And you just feel like you're too stressed out and you feel like, oh my gosh, I'm just so busy. So it really deals with that because we have realized that, you know, it's kind of in your, your inner pressure cooker and we get it. So that's yours. That's for free drama, free results.com. And you can have it now, Lindsay kind of read my introduction, but come on, come on guys, like really like, who is this guy? Right. And I know you kind of tuned out and you know, the reality is, is that, you know, more than just like the author of the eight qualities of drama free teams, it's like, what's more important to me is that, you know, I'm a husband to this lady right here and am a father to these kids right here. And, and I don't have a picture of my granddaughter, but I just became a grandparent this last year. Oh my gosh, nothing better. And, you know, it, and so what I want to tell you is that, because as we go through this presentation, you're going to kind of ask, you know, Dennis, are you talking personally or professionally? Okay. So you give us this technique. Are you talking personally or professionally? And I just say, yes, yes, because here's the deal. When you get better personally, you always get better professionally. And when you get better professionally, you always get better personally. Right. It's ridiculous for me to think like, I scream at my wife, I yell at the kids. I don't come to the hospital being Mr. Happy, right? Cause how I do anything is how I do everything. And really the true way to really know me, who I am is not to go by my, and I want you to buy my book, but it's not to go buy my book. It's to come meet these crazy kids that I have, that I've raised because we teach what we know, but we produce who we are. Which means, listen, if there is drama, is there a challenge that there are, we first got to look here. We first got to look here because I'm teaching people what I know, but at the end of the day, I am producing who I are. So the best way for your teams to get better is for you to get better. And I just want to salute you. And I just want to applaud you. Like, Hey, you're taking an hour of your time. And I know you have other things going on and you have a lot of responsibilities and you're actually carving out an hour to go, you know what? I got to get a little bit better because I'm going to produce who I am. So how do I become a better collaborator? How do I become a better coach? How do I become a better leader? And so I just want to applaud you and we're going to go through some tools, but let me, first of all, let's just play a quick game. Okay. So here, and I'm going to have you put some things in the chat. So here's what I want you to do. If you write with your right hand, okay. Put your pen in your opposite hand. Okay. If you write with your left, just put your pen in your opposite hand and simply super simple. It just write your name. Okay. I'm doing it too. I'm playing the game with you. Then my workshops got to play my game, even if we're in a virtual workshop. Okay. So there's my name. So really quick in the chat, give me some feedback on that experience. How does it feel? How does it look? So give me some feedback on the experience of writing with your opposite hand. Put it in the chat. How does it look? How does it feel? Let's do it quick. Let me see some, see what we got here. Awkward. Perfect. Awkward. I love it. Wrong. Messy. Give me some more. Oh, I had to change brain activity. Absolutely. Yep. Uncomfy. That's a popular one. Hard. Okay. All right. Awesome. Okay. So now longer than normal, legible, but not, but more thought required. I love it. Thank you for the feedback. Okay. So now listen, this is not dentist data. This is your data. Okay. So here we awkward, wrong, messy, uncomfy, and hard. Here's the deal. Look, my kids wrote it. Carrie, thanks for, thanks for chiming in. I get it. Right. Here's what I'm going to tell you. These are all of the reasons right here while you will not change. Right. Cause first time you do anything, this is how it's supposed to look. Right. This is how it's supposed to look, which means here's the thing is I'm going to give you some how tos, but the thing it, and also, so this is the reasons all you will not, while you're not changing, in fact, listen, if we were live and just be glad we're not virtual, we're virtual. Okay. This is, I'm glad we're virtual because if we are live, I would bring a hammer into the workshop. Right. And if we're live in a workshop and I brought the hammer and I actually like after the workshop, just took the hammer and smashed everybody's writing hand and just smashed your writing hand, what would happen with your opposite hand? Right. A year from now, like after we got through all the litigation, you sued me, you sued Georgia health, you know, hospital association, what you sued, you know, all made all the lawsuits. What would happen with your opposite hand? Right. It would, it would write just as well. And so here's what I'm going to tell you. So these are all the reasons why you won't change, but also I want you to just to look at these words. How many of these words are more logical and how many of them are more emotional in nature? And I just want to kind of just go through it. It's like awkward. Well, really it's more of an emotion. It feels awkward, wrong. You know, maybe logical, maybe a little bit, but maybe logical messy. Could be logical, right? It looks like uncomfy. I feel it's an emotion, hard feels right. Who can tell you what heart is? It's totally an emotion. So here's what, here's what you told me really is that. Almost two thirds of all of your challenges are emotional in nature. They're emotional in nature. So I want to give you some techniques, some ideas, but until you step into the emotion, because here's the thing, emotions are messy and people carry their emotions. Okay. And the reality is, okay, here's the reality. And we come on these zooms and I know you came on to get some how-tos and I'm going to give you a couple of how-tos, but I think the thing that you have to remember is that if how-tos were enough, if all you needed were a how-to, we would all be skinny. We would all be rich and we would all be happy. Come on. Am I talking to the right group, right? Like how many diet books does Dennis need, you know, to read? I don't need another diet book. I don't need another how-to, right? It's like, it's, you know, it's like, you know, eat a little bit less, have a little bit more output, right? A little bit less input, a little bit more output. Right. But, but the problem is, is that like, you know, I don't want to, right. It's like, I want to eat ice cream at night. And my wife has this, this idea that she says, okay, well I'm going to buy ice cream and we're empty nesters now. Right. So she buys us ice cream on Monday and then she says, I'm going to put it in the freezer. Don't touch it. It's for the kids when they come over Sunday night for dinner. Well, you know what? It's like, that's yes. Logically I shouldn't eat the ice cream, but what's the problem? I want to eat the ice cream. Right. It's more of an emotional issue. And so if how-to's were enough, we would all be skinny, rich, and happy. Right. So it's not necessarily a how-to. So I'm going to give you some ideas, some strategies, but I think the thing that you've got to remember is like, you got to go in and almost like right with your opposite hand. Cause the first time that you do anything, it's going to look like this. Helpful, not helpful. Okay. So I just want to kind of just kind of pre-frame it and let's just kind of get into it. Okay. So, so really I just want you to think about this word right here. Self-directed. Now it means different things to different people, but isn't that what we all want? We all want self-directed people. We want self-responsible, self-directed teams, right? How do we create these self-directed teams that just get great results, great outcomes for, for families, patients, the people that we serve, it's like, how, how do they become self-directed where I don't have to like come into and be a command and demand leader, all those kinds of fun things. So I want to give like four mindsets really. And we're going to kind of walk through these is number one is they always make their future bigger than their past. See, because I think if you're not careful, we all have these collections of experiences, but the value of any experience is what you learn from the experience. And what I'm going to show you is that all of us here in the room, we've had experiences with the team members, with employees, with, you know, onboarding, and then having to release people and freeing their future and all of these different experiences. But the problem is, is we don't learn from the experience. We have not extracted the value of the experience. So I, I want to show you a thinking process where you can come up with your own strategies. Okay. So you always make your future bigger than your past. And so let's just kind of walk through this. And now, now this tool Lindsay's going to put this in the chat or wherever Lindsay puts it, a link for this tool. But this is actually a thinking exercise that we walk some of our, some of our clients through it. And what they have said is like, this is, they said, this was the tool right here that they were able to extract value from every experience, right? And you just think about this word, valuable. What makes an experience valuable? It's really when you're able to extract the value and who determines if an experience is valuable or not. You determine who, right? I only, only me can determine, well, that's not even correct grammar. Only I can determine if an experience is valuable to me. So it's this whole idea. So we have a collection of experiences, right? We all have collections of experiences. And if we're not careful, we don't have really a bigger future. Here's what we have. We just have a past that's rehashed over and over and over again. Now, this is something that I do after every workshop. In fact, I'll do this after the Zoom. You know, in an effect, I think maybe everybody should send a big thank you to, to a large hospital system in Michigan, because I just did a workshop there by Zoom a couple of days ago. And I did this, I did this thinking exercise and here's what I did. I said, okay, what went well? And I just wrote out, I said, you know, it's like, you know, what went well and really get understood because if you did something well, you can do it over and over again. And then I asked myself, what did not go well? Right. And this is the past. Right. And I go back to the past and then I bring it into the future. And then I asked myself, okay, knowing what I know now, what do I do differently? Either to, have you ever had something work so well that you did it a couple of times and then you forgot about it, you just stopped doing it and you go, oh, you know, we used to do that last year. It really, really worked well. Right. Because you didn't extract the value or, hey, what didn't go well? And how do I make changes into the future? So, so what, where I think is, I think we should send the group in Michigan, a big thank you, because after that workshop, I said, okay, what went well? What didn't go well? And then I thought, okay, when I do the workshop by Zoom on Thursday, what am I going to do differently? And there are two things that I'm going to do differently, right? For this workshop, because I've extracted the value and you want to look at it. Think about every interaction. You can use this with patients. You can use, listen, you can use this coaching sessions. Okay. Just had that coaching session. What went well? Okay. What didn't go well? Okay. What do I do moving forward? Okay. We just onboarded that person. Oh, hey, we just lost, you know, this team member. They just quit or they just, okay, well, what went well? Well, okay. What didn't go well? Okay. What do we do moving forward? And in this way, you extract the value from every pass because we all go through pain. Okay. Experiences are painful. Now here's, what's more interesting. Do you typically learn more from a pleasant experience or a painful experience? Right. You typically learn more from a painful experience. So it's there. The link is there. Um, Lindsay put it, so download it. There's actually three thinking tools, but this is one of them. And remember I told you, it's like, I don't necessarily have the silver bullet. It's a little bit, just, I want to give you some blacking and tackling skills and some reminders and actually give you some ways to think about it, because here's the thing. I think it's different in Lawton than it is in Kansas city, but I think you're creative. Okay. And I think you can use your experiences to extract value and create your own customizable solutions. But as we go through painful experiences, here's what I, here's what I figured out is I want every pain to have a payoff, right? I want every pain to pay me. If I'm going to, if I'm going to go through the painful experience, man, I better get a big payoff. Now, I hope we never, ever go through COVID ever again. Right. I think we're, you know, but what I realized is I have friends in my life that are the exact same. As they, as they were in 2019, 2020, they're the exact same person. And I thought, wow, we all went through the pain of the pandemic, but man, you never learned anything. Right. And so I always want to learn. And it's like, the more painful an experience is, the more I'm going to learn from it. And in this way you can extract the value. Okay. And so we're really more about like, you know, if we're going to have a self-directed team, we can't be command and control. Okay. Hey, you know, salute and stay mute. Right. It just, you know, you know, you know, command and demand. All right. But, but really in a retention culture and really have it in retention really is if you can create self-directed, self-responsible team members, like they stay, they stick around, right. Because they're always being transformed. And we'll talk about that in a minute, but the focus is really on coaching. And I want to kind of just kind of go through that. What coaching is, right. It's, it's mutually generated. Right. Now you've got to have an idea of where you want to go in your mind, but you got, you have to create buy-in. It cause, cause even think about, I'm not trying to change the language. Okay. But I maybe just want to challenge some things as let's think about this word. Okay. And, and I know you probably use it a lot. Hey, we got to motivate our teams. Maybe your boss said, Hey, you got to motivate your people. Okay. Let's just tell the truth. Can you really, really motivate anybody truthfully? You really can't people motivate themselves, but here's the, here's part of the trick is when you can find their motive or find their why that motive, for example, so I'm, I'm on this, I'm on this weight loss journey in my, my nutrition coach back in the day, he had a great technique. Right. So I would send him, you know, all of the, all of my, my food log, right. I'd send him my food log and you know, I'm human. Just like everybody. I got, I got weeks that I go sideways. It's come on. Do you guys got weeks that you go sideways? Raise your hand. If you have weeks, you know, in your nutrition that it just kind of stuff happens to go. So I hit this week that I just totally went sideways. And so Jason, he got me on the phone and this is what he said. He said, Dennis, he said, I'm, I'm looking here at my fitness pal. And he said, and this is all he said. He said, you know, he said, I thought you said you wanted to weigh under a, under 180 pounds. Now he didn't dog me. He didn't like, you know, yell at me and, you know, just command me to change and, you know, berate me about my, all he did was he took my goal. I want to weigh under 180 pounds and he just gave it back to me. And I get a little frustrated, a little agitated. Like I was like, fine, Jason, I'm back. I'm back at it. Yes, I'm back. And all he did was he took my motive and he just gave it back to me. Now that is a secret and I'm gonna show you how to find people's motives when find, I'm gonna show you a fantastic little technique that you can use to find people's motives. Okay. So they're mutual generated. They're mutually considered, right? It's the whole key is mutually. Cause you're trying to create buy-in. Cause listen, I know we have goals and I know maybe you have goals that are set for you and maybe you have to set goals for your team, but it's like this whole idea of buy-in because just cause you set a goal, I'm sure you've realized like, Hey, that doesn't mean we're actually going to do it. Right. So you got to get this whole buy-in and it's mutually adopted. And it really becomes all about buy-in. How do we create buy-in? Because when I'm bought into it, listen, I'm self-directed when I'm really bought into it. I am. So I, and I'm self-responsible if I'm truly bought into it. So, so the goal is, is even like, how do I create this buy-in? And we've got a couple of strategies you want to go through, but when you coach, it's like, you're really the facilitator of a process, not a dictator. It's all I am. And just a facilitator of the process, because remember, you're just really managing the agreements. You're not managing people. You're managing the agreements, right? It's like, I'm going to do this. This is me. Right. And this is you. And you're going to do, I'm going to do this. You're going to do this. And we have this agreement that we make with each other. And that's what you manage. You, you really don't manage people. You just say, Hey, this is, and here's maybe like another way to say it. Cause all the drama happens typically in organizations between expectations and reality, right? The bigger the gap, the bigger the drama. Now, here's what I got to tell you. This is all my marriage problems, right? My wife expects me to wash the dishes. The reality is I don't always wash the dishes. She expects me to like make the bed in the morning. The reality is I don't always make the bed. Now here's what I'm going to tell you. Okay. I'm not saying have low expectations, right? Keep your expectations here, but you want to continue to move reality. You continue to move and move and move reality, right? But you only move reality when you tell the truth. Bill W is a great statement that he's a founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. And he says, all progress starts when you just tell the truth. All progress starts when you tell the truth. And the reality is there's one expectation that you can never, ever meet. And it's the expectation that has not been clarified. Expectation. And how many times, and if you want a tool that can really clarify expectations, I will absolutely send it to you. I'll give you my email at the end. And I can show you how to clarify just a quick five-step process that you can do in one minute to totally clarify all expectations. But a lot of times, what I've seen is that leaders aren't even clear on their expectations. We say things like, well, you just got to try harder. I don't know how to measure that. I don't know what that means. Or you got to do better. I don't even know what that means. Do better. Okay. I'm going to try harder people. And then we have employees walk out of our office going, okay, I'm going to do better. I'm going to try. And there's no measurables to these things. So what I'm saying is not lower expectations, but the key is when expectations are not clear. And listen, just because you say it does not mean they hear it. Just because you say it. And how many times we said it, we said it, we said it. Well, just because I'm saying it doesn't mean you hear it. So I want to give you a tool at the end, but you're really this facilitator. And when you're self-directing, you're coaching, it's like your team almost sets the expectations with your guidance. And what I've seen is if you do it right, if you do it right, it's like many times people, I just know with my team, they can be harder on themselves than I ever would be. It's like, hey, we didn't hit a goal. And they beat themselves up. And I tell them, it's like, hey, I don't need to beat you up because man, you're doing a great job all by yourself. But they set the expectations with your guidance. I'm not saying just willy-nilly, just throw caution to the wind, but it's a collaborative process. And so when they have questions, you have the questions, your team has the answers. And I'll show you what I mean by that. Because if you are always the answer person, you're actually doing all the thinking for them. They have a question, you have an answer. And then they keep having questions and you keep having answers. And the reason they do that is because they're typically not self-confident. And they're looking to you for reassurance. But what if they were confident in themselves? Because I know people here in the room in the Zoom, you're like, man, I got a team member that he asked me the same dumb question all over and over. And I have already told him 50 times and he keeps asking me the same question. Come on, am I talking to the right group? But what they're really saying when that happens is they're saying, hey, I have confidence in you as the leader, but I don't have confidence in myself. And part of creating self-directed people and self-responsible teams is helping them build their confidence. But it doesn't always come by you always telling the answer. See, because for me to be self-directed, it's a self-discovery process. And so the reality is that you have questions, they have answers because the truth is really what's happening is they're wanting you to do their thinking for them. And you keep telling them, guess what you're secretly doing? You're secretly doing their thinking for them. And listen, I have talked to so many hospital administrators and they go, man, I just want my team to think at a higher level. Some of you are saying to me about the Zoom, Dennis, can they just start thinking? Can you help us with them? I don't even want to think at a higher level if they can just think. So wherever you're at in this process, but the reality is, is that if you keep answering and keep telling, then that's really like you're doing their thinking for them and you want them to grow in their thinking. And really, listen, the learning matrix that I just showed you, that's a great exercise to do with your team. Every quarter, my team is getting together in about three hours this afternoon, and we're going to look back at Q1 and we're going to take out the learning matrix. We're going to do it together as a team and go, hey, what went well this quarter? Hey, what didn't go well this quarter? Okay, moving forward into next quarter, what are we going to do differently? How are we going to prove? What are we going to do to make it better? Or there are some things that work that we're going to go and go, okay, how do we develop a process? So that works every single time. Every single time we do an event or have a coaching session or create a product, like how are we going to, and in that way, my team is always growing. My team is always learning and they're always creating like this bigger future. You know, I didn't give you the other mindsets, did I? I just remember. Hmm. Okay. Make sure we do that at the end. Lindsay, remind me. Okay. I just remembered I didn't do that. Like I'm so excited about what we're talking about. And then really like when you're coaching, it's like about having adult to adult conversations. Now, remember if you got a Q and A, you got a question, just put it in the chat. Lindsay's going to answer all the questions and I'll help her come up with some answers. Okay. So here's the best coaches, right? Because nobody really likes to be managed, not the best managed, but the best coaches are caring and focused, right? Because people don't care how much, you know, until they know how much you care. That's an old John Maxwell phrase, right? People don't, and here's the thing, what I have realized is that if you're, and in fact, if you're on the Zoom, I bet you really care, right? You don't, it's like, you don't take an hour to go, okay, I got to really like, you know, figure out how to really do retention better. Right. And keep the great people that we have. You're on here because you care, but here's the thing. If I don't feel like you care, it's just like, you're not caring. If I don't, as your team don't feel like you care. So I'm going to show you like four different ways to kind of show care, right? And they're good listeners and communicators because the number one thing people want is they want to feel heard. They want to feel heard. And many times we're answering questions that they're not even asking. And so great. And we're not going to go over this, but we've got some listening skills and some communication skills that we do in another, the workshop, but really think about this. Like when you can say, Hey, did I hear you correctly? You just paraphrase. And the key thing, Hey, did I, do you feel heard? And many times, you know, when people come in and have you ever, has this ever happened to you? Okay. Just had a thought. This ever happened to you? Have you ever been given advice when you didn't really ask for it or when you came in? Right. And here's, what's interesting is unsolicited advice always comes across as criticism. Literally this true story. So I ran, I ran a half marathon in December in Dallas and in November I was trained for the half marathon and I was on my long run. Cause I was on this, like this eight mile long run in preparation and I was, had my phone with me in and on the phone. It's like my accountant was calling me and like my accountant is the kind of guy, like if I don't take his call, like I'm not going to talk to him for a month, like he's super hard to get ahold of. And so I just stopped the long run and I just answered my phone and I said, Oh Mike, I'm so glad you called. I was in the middle of a long run. I'm trained for this half marathon and I'm just tired of running. So let's talk. I don't want to run anymore. The very first words out of his mouth were Dennis, you need to stop running. He says, running is going to make you fat. He says, you need to do strength training. You need to lift weights. You need to be in the gym. You need to be doing upper body training. And on the phone, I'm finding myself, can I say, I said pissed off, right? Is that okay? I say that, right? I was, I was irritated. Now here's the thing. I agree with him. I agree that I needed to be doing strength training. I like, like, I don't doubt, like, I, I, I agree with that. Like, I logically I agree with that, but you know what? I didn't need that at that time. I didn't need that advice. I, what I really needed was I needed him to say, man, that's awesome. I needed encouragement, right? I needed encouragement, but he was giving me advice that I never asked for. So here's when people bring you problems. Okay. Key, key thing, key question is, do you want support or do you want a solution? Now, listen, if they say they just want support, because sometimes people just got a vent, right? It's like, give it a timeframe. Say, great. I want support. I got three minutes. Just lay it out. Just tell me, right? Put a timeframe. It's like, Hey, I don't, you don't have an hour, right? It's like, we're not getting, and this is not going to be a whining, complaining session, right? Just, but do you want support or do you want a solution? And many times when people get support, then they're open to a solution. And sometimes they just need a solution. And then if they say, I just need a solution, right? Let's, let's fix this right now. Now, dirty secret, take this and apply this to your personal relationships, right? Cause I don't know about you, but sometimes Dennis is great at solutions. And my wife talks to me and man, I got an answer. I got an answer and I give her the answer. And I look at her and I realize she wasn't really looking for an answer. Answer was not what she was all about then. So do you want support or do you want a solution, right? It is a great technique. And then you can give people what they need because people typically, people typically go into drama. It's a tragic, tragic expression of an unmet need. It's a tragic expression of an unmet need. Now here's the thing. People don't even know what they need sometimes, right? But if you can, and sometimes it, so the way through this is simply when people bring you these things, it's like simply you could do, do you want support or solution or, you know, what do you need? What, just what do you need? Now here's, what's fascinating. Sometimes when I ask people what they need, they look at me like I have three heads. They're like, cause they don't even know what they need. They're like, what do you need? Do you need support? Do you need a solution? Right. Do you need advice? Right. Do you just need encouragement? Just what do you need? Okay. Because here's the thing. If you don't know what you need, how can I ever help you with it? But many times people are just bringing you issues just, just to complain. Okay. So those, those are some, you know, quick ideas, right? And it's all about creating these collaborative relationships. So those two questions will really do this. And man, I got to go fast because we're running out of time. And really at the end of the day, leadership is getting results through people. It's what it is, right? It's, you can't do it all yourself. Have you realized that today? Right? It's like, I cannot do all this myself. And the challenge is, is that we get to these levels, you know, in the organizations, because we're good people, we work hard, we're responsible, we care. Right. But it's like the skills that got me here are not the skills that take me there. And all of a sudden I come into these leadership management type roles. And it's like, well, it's a different, it's like, I can't do it all myself. Now. I'm glad we're on zoom and we're not face-to-face so that nobody would know this as you, but let me tell you the manager's fatal flaw. Okay. Here it is. Manager's fatal flaw is you doing the work of the people you're supposed to be leading, right? You're doing your work, you're doing their work, and then you're pissed off. And who has created the scenario, right? And the lies that we tell ourselves are, it's just easier. It's going to take me five minutes. I'll just do it myself. Or Hey, if you want it done, right. And you got to do it. And they never do it right. And I'm going to have to come in and fix it anyways, and take an extra hour. So I might as well just step in and do it myself. Come on. Right. I'm glad we're on zoom. So you don't have to like acknowledge that you, but if we're not careful, we just, we just kind of step into this, right? Because at the end of the day, we're responsible for our teams. And I think that's the, that's the tough part about leadership is that, you know, the, the root of problems in teams are typically like inside the team, but the fruit that they produce is the responsibility of the leader, right? So your manager above you probably doesn't bring your team in. If the results aren't happening, they bring you in right. And you're responsible. And I think that's sort of, that's sort of why we really want to create these self-responsible, you know, self-directed teams. And it's really how you coach yourself and how you coach your team and to yourself. It really determines how they show up in the results they produce. Oh my gosh. Okay. We're going to go fast. Okay. So the SOAR method methodology. Okay. So mindset drives behavior, right? So when people behave, it is telling me how they think, right? Behavior is just an outcome, right? We've all seen the iceberg process, right? Where it's a much of the iceberg is below. So what's the mindset we want to manage mindset with, or we want to grow mindsets. Okay. Mindset really drives behavior. So we want to kind of go through the SOAR methodology. So you have, so here's what I want you to think about four ways to really people find motivation. Some people SOAR are very, they're very straightforward. Okay. Very straight forward. Say what they mean, mean what they say. Now with these kinds of people, you have to be super direct, right? I have a son like this where he does not understand. And so I just get in his face, right? But not everybody is like that. You have some people that are a little bit more accepting, right? And if you get in their face, you're going to destroy them. Some people you motivate by, by getting in their face. Some people like you have to like be more calm and gentle and more accepting. And so these people are all about a relationship, right? I want to have a one-on-one relationship. People that are very direct and straightforward. They're all about the goal. And then you have other people that are open, right? They're kind of like your otters on your team, right? It's like, you know, exactly what happened on the weekend. They're like the life of the party, right? And so with these people to motivate them, you have to be really, you have to be transparent, right? And I know some of you maybe are a little bit more closed and I get it, right? It's more, Hey, this is personal. This is, you know, professional. And I don't want to really blur those lines, but, you know, sometimes as a leader, even though you're more, maybe just professional and don't want to blur the personal lines, you have to share some things of you, right? You have to be a little bit more transparent, a little bit more open. Now, not with everybody, right? Because you have some people on your team. I'm just going to call them reliable, right? And these people are all about like having it done correctly, right? So I don't want to go and be real open with people that are reliable, right? They're a little bit more closed. They're a little bit more guarded. Okay. So here, here's, and here's the challenge. You lead people according to the way that they like to be led. You lead people according to the way that you like to be led. So if you would like more information on this, just send us an email and we've got a whole, a whole training kit that we can send you. And we don't mind doing that, right? So how people feel care, right? So some people it's significance S, right? Reliable acceptance, open. Okay. So I just went through those four right there. Okay. They also have four fears, right? Some people are afraid of being taken advantage of, come on, right? Maybe there's some on the call, some on the zoom, you're going, why is that really true? Are you just trying to sell me something, right? Some people are afraid of being wrong, right? So they hold back. I hope you can read my chicken scratch. Okay. I'm kind of writing really fast. So it take advantage of being wrong. Some people are afraid of loss of approval, right? Some people are afraid of loss of approval. And then some people are afraid of change. The four drivers, four fears. Now here's the thing. Okay. People do, people do things for their own reasons. And when I understand that some people do things to not be taken advantage of some people like do things that, Hey, I don't appear that I'm wrong. Other people, I loss of approval and other people feel change. You can speak to that. And people feel like you get them. For example, I have a couple of team members on my team. Whenever I bring in like a quick change, it's like, I, I, in fact, I just sat my assistant down the other day, the other day. And I said, Hey, listen, I, I, I know like, you know, changing really quick is a big deal. And it's kind of hard. Like I get that. This is, this needs to happen in the next day. And I know it's going to be hard, but I just need you to step into it. And here's the thing. She immediately felt like, okay, Dennis understands me. She didn't necessarily like it that we were doing it, but she stepped in and did it right. Because she felt like, okay, Dennis gets her, she gets who I am. And it's another way for people to be heard, right. Or people feel understood because when, because here's, here's what I know. I know you have to share hard things. I know you have to tell people things that they need to do that they don't want to do. It's hard, but if they can buy into you as the leader, they're going to step in and do the hard things. They will come on. You've had this in your own life, right? You've had a leader that you bought into and you're like, oh, that's really hard. They've asked me to step in and do this, but it's like, if you believe in me and okay, I'm, I'm going to trust you and I'm just going to go try it. Right. Cause we've all had those things in our life. Same thing with us. Okay. And I think you got to adopt the golden rule mentality. Okay. Now listen, there's one golden rule that I believe that, you know it's treat others as they want to be treated. Like I believe in that golden rule, but, but here's the golden rule that I really believe in is that there is gold inside of everyone. Now, I think we want to be a miner. Like when a miner goes in to mine, he is not focused on dirt. Now he knows he's going to find a ton of dirt, right? But what is he focused on? He's focused on gold and what you focus on determines what you find. What you focus on determines what you find. Now, this is how it is working with people, right? Is that some people would go in and it's like, oh my gosh, it's just a bunch of dirt, but there must be gold here somewhere. All I see is dirt, but it must be gold. Other people you're like, oh my gosh, I just kind of dusted off. It's just a gigantic gold bar. And so I want you as a leader to be a gold digger. Yep. I said it. There it is. Be a gold digger, right? Go in and look for the gold and call the gold out. You call the gold out, right? What's great about that person and call it out. Cause you always find what you focus on and people become how we see them. And sometimes here's the thing, you know, people have to borrow our belief because I think people always rise to the level of our expectations. Okay. So, and we'll send you this PowerPoint so that you have it. We won't go through the bonus action plan. Okay. Four quick listening coaching skills. Listen with curiosity. Curiosity is the key. Huh? I wonder. Keep that sense of wonder because when you judge, you immediately make a judgment you can no longer learn and you want to be curious so that you're creative. But when you judge, you're no longer creative, right? So you're making this judgment or you just listen with curiosity and always listen to like, you know, discrepancies. Hey, I, you know, I really want to do this, but I don't, you know, Hey, I really want to lose weight, but man, I just love pizza. Right. It's like, well, it kind of a discrepancy, right? It's like, right. And so you want to kind of look at that. Cause I think attention is one of the greatest gifts you can give your attention. And listen, in fact, your attention is your property, which is a totally different training. But when I give you my attention, when I'm all there, it's like, you feel it being curious, really helps you stay focused. So like, I wonder why you don't do that. I wonder why you don't do that. I wonder why you don't do that. but you gave me all the signals why you won't. Listen, when body language and expressions are different than the words, always lean into the covert, right? The body language, the expressions, right? You want to put yourself in their shoes, okay? And really it's like, here's the thing, it's co-creating a solution when you're coaching. And you've got to believe that people are powerful enough to solve their own problems, okay? And then you just want to reflect with accuracy, right? Be in the moment. And I've already said this, it helps people be heard, right? Because when people get clarity, that fog of drama leaves. And you just simply restate what you said, hey, and did I hear you correctly? Now, what I do is I always take a notepad and I'm just writing as people are talking because your thumb engages your brain. Your thumb engages your brain and you listen best when you're writing, even a scribble, right? And I just summarize back, okay? And you just watch for the emotion, right? Because remember, just like most of your challenges are emotional in nature, most of your team's challenges are emotional in nature and you cannot solve an emotional issue with logic. And then you want to ask open-ended questions. And what I want to do is I want to give you just like my list of top coaching questions because when people self-discover the answer, that answer empowers them, right? They're empowered, they really become self-directed. When they come up with their own solutions, they are self-directed and you just have to guide them, it shows you value their opinions and experiences and it builds confidence. So some of my favorite ones are simply like, what does this mean? How do you see that working? What concerns do you have about blank? What do you need? Remember we said that one before, right? What do you want? And we'll send all this to you and what's the right action to take? And what other choices do you have? We got a bonus assessment assignment and then I wanted to give you the GPS framework, but really quick in the chat because truthfully, I need to step out and use the restroom in like, I actually can't even believe I'm saying this, but I need to do this for one minute. So I'm going to step out and use the restroom. In the chat, I wanted you to write what is your number one takeaway to share with people? So what's your number one takeaway of everything we've talked about? And I will be right back. Perfect, thank you, Dennis. And while he's taking a quick break, as he said, go ahead and type those comments into the chat. And then if you have any questions, because we'll have a few moments at the end of the presentation to address those questions, go ahead and type those into the Q&A option found there at the bottom of your Zoom window. Or if you don't see that option there, you can of course just type your questions into the chat as well. So we'll make sure to have time to address your questions. See lots of great comments coming in here. Y'all can keep those coming in. That will be great. And as Dennis mentioned, I did post earlier up in the chat, the link to the handouts. And then he did just say that he will also give us access to the slides. So in the follow-up email that you all receive tomorrow, we'll make sure that you have access to these slides as well. I know that will be a helpful resource. Karen, I see your question here asking if we'll share the recording. Absolutely, the email that you all will receive tomorrow morning it will come from Zoom and I'll cover that again at the end just that everyone hears that message as well but you will all receive an email that will include a link to the recording tomorrow morning. Great comments here. Thank you all for engaging. Awesome. So we're putting in now, listen, everybody, you have just had a once in a lifetime experience. I have probably done over a thousand of these zooms and I have never, ever had to leave and go to the restroom, right? So you probably never had this experience. Now, here's what's going to happen with me is after this, after the zoom session, I'm taking out the learning matrix and go, Hey, what worked? Some things that worked, I go, Hey, what didn't work? And I was like, Hmm, I had to go to the bathroom halfway through, right? Hey, what do I do moving forward? Listen, and I will never, ever have this happen to me ever again. Cause I will remember, huh? I remember that that was zoom that we did. So you just had a great experience, right? Never seen that before. So really, really quickly, let's take a minute. Um, just let the gold digger analogy, love it. Don't try to solve everything. Awesome. Listen with curiosity. Fantastic. Thanks for sharing. I just want to give us a couple of last things. Okay. Um, the GPS framework, and we've got a tool for this. Okay. This is, this is kind of the number one thing, because I know that you have, you know, some kind of like, you know, patient care plans, you know, you have, you know, everything like that, but do we have employee care plans? Let's think about this for a minute, right? Employee care plans. I know we have these things for, for patients, but what about employees? And here's what I mean by that. Okay. The GPS framework. Now I have a GPS and what's great about like, you know, an iPhone, if you have an Android, it probably can't help you, but you got an iPhone. I can really help you today. Just teasing. All right. I'm an Apple guy. Okay. But the great thing about like my iPhone is that it's got a GPS. Like, what did we do without the GPS is right before. Now here's, here's what I thought about is that I just punched in the address and it just gives me directions, but you know, every team member has a GPS. They do now. And let me ask you this question really quick. Okay. The best leader that you ever had, boss, parent, coach, whoever the best leader was. I just want you to think, were they more about, let me say it this way. Were they more about what you did or who you became? And almost across the board, what people I told us is like, you know, they were really more focused on who we became, not what we did. And it's almost this idea of you can be transactional, go do this, go do this, go to this, or you can work to be transformational. And you help people according to how they, how much you can, how much they allow you to help them. But if I can help you become somebody different, somebody better, if I can help you transform, you'll give me your heart. Well, here's a way to do it is people have goals, passions, and struggles, GPS, and you can find their goals. Now I'm not telling you to be everybody's life coach. Now I spent, you know, years as a marriage and family therapist. I'm not telling you to go be a therapist, go be a life coach, go be a counselor. But if you can find their goals, like their outcomes, and you can find what they're passionate about, and you can find what they're struggling through and just be an assist. Maybe you can, you can be a resource. Hey, here's a book I read, or here's a blog, or, Hey, here's a YouTube video I saw on this, or, Hey, have you ever thought about this? Or here's a suggestion for this, or, you know, Hey, I just, I just saw this on TV, maybe. And you just assist, they give you their heart. And if I get your heart, bad drawing, but this is my hand, right? That the hand comes with it, right? But you go after the heart. Cause if you're always going after the hand, it doesn't mean that you're going to get people's hearts. So you kind of want to play detective. Okay. And it really is a secret to motivating, right? You find their goals, passions, and struggles. And the best are when like, Hey, our organizational goals can like align with your personal goals. Man, motivation is easy, but to do this, you got to step outside of yourself. You got to make it all about them. Okay. So here in your, in Lindsay, you'll put this link. She put it in earlier. But this is called the GPS framework is we ask you to put people out into the future. Hey, looking out over the next, I don't know, year or 90 days or five years, or Hey, looking out over three years, whatever timeframe, what needs to happen for you personally and professionally for you to be happy with your progress. And you find, Hey, what are some outcomes? What are some passions? What are you passionate about? And what do you struggle with? And just help them create an action plan, their own personal action plan. Every time that we have done this, my team does this every quarter with me. But every time we do this with organizations, people get glued to the organizations because really it's like, you're focused on them, on their heart. So they got goals, objections, and dreams. If you help them, they really do give you their heart. Like some question is like, Hey, what are some of the outcomes you want? Now, listen, you help people according to the degree that you allow them to help them. Sometimes people would, they won't, don't even want to answer that. And it's like, fine, I'm not going to be able to help you. And that's okay. Right. I hope you, according to how you allow me to, but if people allow you and they open up to you and that's all you're asking, right? Hey, looking out in the future, what needs to happen for you to be happy with your progress? And I typically say personally or professionally, and sometimes they just give me professionally. And I don't, I don't try to dive personally. I'm like, I'm not trying to be your therapist, but I'm just trying to be an assist, but I can't be an assist if I don't know you. Right. What are you hoping to achieve is another way to say it. Cause sometimes you go, Hey, what are your goals? I don't even know. Like maybe, I don't know, like, you know, buy lunch tomorrow. Right. It's like, you know, or so what are the outcomes? What are you hoping to achieve over the next year? What do you want over the next year? And then passions, right? Cause desires birth emotions, right? And emotion creates motion. So maybe it's, you know, family, maybe it's sports, right? Listen, if you buy me tickets to Fenway park, I am your friend forever. I am passionate about Red Sox baseball. Like buy me tickets. I'm in right. I'll do whatever. Right. So, but don't buy me tickets to the New York Yankees. Okay. Just don't. Cause I'm not even going to go. In fact, I'll probably burn the tickets. Even if you give me box seats, I just burn those tickets. Okay. So come on. You're extreme about something like that, right? Not now I got all the Yankees fans that are mad at me. I already get it. Right. And emotions drive people. So I always ask myself, how can I help them in this area? And then struggles, everybody has constraints and you help people overcome a struggle. You get this higher level of trust, helpful, not helpful. So I just wanted to give you one more really quick. Okay. We didn't get to all of these. So we want to make our future bigger than our past. Okay. Four mindsets is you want to take a hundred percent ownership of your life, your business, whatever you're in your results, you focus on transformation, just not transaction, right? GPS, right? So, so this was all about the coaching skills. Okay. Taking a hundred percent responsibility, right? This is learning matrix. Always make the future focusing on transformation, not just transaction. This is the GPS framework. And they always surround themselves with other people that are getting smarter. And I just wanted to throw this in because I just wanted to just applaud you. I want to applaud you and say, Hey, listen, thanks for being here. And thanks for being, I'm being on the zoom. It's like, you're, you're, you're taking some time to really develop. And if we can ever help you listen, here's what I want to do is I thought, let me send you the coaching questions toolkit. Okay. They are 20 coaching questions that our clients in most hospital systems have said, Dennis, these are the questions that have changed me from just being transactional to transformational. It has helped increase retention because I'm a transformational leader, not just a transactional leader. So it's, here's, here's the email address. Maybe take a picture of it or write it down real quick. It's it. Ooh, it is right here. It is info at leadership dev.com. That's my personal email. And that's all I know today. So Lindsay, are there, are there any questions? We want to just take a couple minutes and take some questions. And if you can answer the hard ones, that'd be really great. I told Dennis at the beginning, when he posed that to me, that his business might be in trouble if he gave me the hard question. So we do have a couple of questions and while we're addressing these, I'll just give you all a quick reminder. Again, if you are sitting on a question, go ahead and type that in. So we'll make sure to address those before we close out today. So the first question here is, do you do these sessions in person? I do. And I w listen, all of our thinking tools were, were made with you in mind. I just wanted to show this really quick. Cause I think this is helpful to kind of end with is that I spent my first years in ministry and about 15 years ago, it was a hospital system that one of the, the CEO asked me to come in and just talk with his team. And I remember being in that team and I came back and I talked to my wife and I said, Lisa, I think I just found the group of people I want to spend the rest of my life serving. And so what I've seen is what you do. And thank you for being on the zoom. It's a thankless job. And so if nobody's told you, thank you. I just want to say, thank you. Thank you for serving patients, serving people. You know, none of us are in this thing to get rich. We just want to serve and be a blessing. So all of my thinking tools are for you. So if, if you bring speakers or trainers in your organization, oh my gosh, I want to serve you. So just reach out to us, Infoette leadership dev group. Perfect. Okay. And then here's a question that asks, how do employees prefer to be heard for large groups specifically? Would it be like a town hall meeting, for example? Yeah. One, one that is, that is a great suggestion. Town hall meetings are great. The way that I would do a town hall is I would do a stop, start, continue, and, and I can send the feedback generator, but you know, you want to, you want to get feedback from them. What do they want to start? What should we start? What should we stop? And what should we continue? But a town hall is great for that type of formats. Yeah. It's a great format, but start, stop, continue is a great way to do town halls. And you can reach out to us. We give you some more information on that. Yeah, absolutely. And this other question is how would you suggest mining for gold? As you referenced earlier from a team member who maybe doesn't express interest in upward mobility or growth? Oh my gosh, that's a great. So what I want you to learn is I want you to learn word stems. Now my best word stem is appreciate. And here's what I mean by that. When, when my money appreciated it goes up in value. When my real estate appreciates, it goes up in value. When I appreciate people, they go up in value. So here's what I do with people is I look out at them and I just look at behavior and I just call it out. I say, Hey, what I appreciate about you is blank. Hey, you know what I appreciate about you is that you're really detail oriented. I think that's great. And, and you, and you just create like this show. It's not a long, like, you know, 10 minute conversation. It's like a 10 second and you just get good at calling out the gold. And I always ask my people, I always ask myself when I'm working with people, okay, what's great about this? Right. Lindsay, like Lindsay, I just appreciate how pleasant you were when I first, when we first got on the call, you made it really made me very comfortable. Thank you. And that's true. I'm not just like blowing smoke. Right. But, but, but that's, but that's the way you do it. Right. Cause that's, that was Lindsay, right? She was very kind. She was very approachable when we got on the call, like, you know, and she made me feel very at home. I say, Hey, what, so that's, that's the way you do it. What I appreciate, but you could say what I like, what I value other ways to do it, but learn some word stems and just call it out that way. That's a great question. Thank you. Great answer. And then this last question that I see here before you do some, just last closing comments here says, I would like to learn how to determine expectations that you said may be available at the end of the session. Great. If you want to do that, I will send you what we call the intention clarifier. It is a one page document and it gets everybody on the same page. Cause I created a one page cause I was tired of people saying, we're just not on the same page. So I created a page. So if you email info at leadership dev group and just ask for the intention clarifier and we'll get that over to you. Yeah. I think, thank you for that. Perfect. And Dennis, if there are any other documents that you would like for us to send to the group at large, we can, we can certainly do that. Okay. So what we'll do is we'll send you the PowerPoint. Cause some of the things I went really fast, just to, I just, please forgive me. I wanted to give you as much information in as short a time as possible. Cause that's how I like to learn. So I know I went very fast through the slides. I will send you all the slides. You can send them out. Perfect. Wonderful. And with that, I did just post some additional information there for you all in the chat, just as a quick reminder that you will receive that email tomorrow morning. Just note that it will actually come from education. No reply at zoom.us. And so, because it will come from that zoom email, it may get called in your spam quarantine or junk folder. So if you don't see that in your inbox in the morning, possibly go check those additional folders. And then if it's still not there and you'd like to go back and access the recording for today's session, we do record this at, or we are recording this as on demand, meaning that you can use the same zoom link to access both the recording and the live session. So you're not going to have to search for a separate link for the recording, but also note that we do have an additional security measure in place that you will need to click on that zoom link, type in your information that will prompt an email to come to us to approve your recording access request. And then we approve, we approve those requests very quickly, typically within just a few moments, but we ask that you give us one business day to approve that. And then once approved, you'll receive a follow-up email from zoom with the final link to access that recording. And then again, you will have full access to the recording for 60 days from today's date. And then as Dennis mentioned earlier, if you have any other questions, you can always reach out to us at education at gha.org. And we are so appreciative that he's willing to answer any questions at the conclusion of today's presentation. So please don't hesitate to send those over to us. We'll be happy to get those to Dennis as well. And then we'll make sure that you also receive again, the link to the handouts that I did go ahead and provide the link there for you in the chat now, but that'll also be included in that email tomorrow morning, as well as a link to the slides from today's presentation. Just seeing so many wonderful comments here in the chat, Dennis saying it was such a wonderful presentation and I loved reading everybody's takeaways from earlier. There were just lots of great insights. So I want to thank you all as attendees for your engagement today. I know that that's helpful for speakers as well to have that engagement from the participants. So we appreciate you all doing that. Okay. Thank you all so much for joining us. Thank you so much Dennis for your time and information that you shared with us. And we hope to have you all back with us for future sessions and I hope you have a wonderful afternoon. Thank you so much.

Dennis McKinty

consultant

speaker

coach

author

self-directed teams

coaching mindset

effective communication

leadership skills

team collaboration