And now I would like to reintroduce our speaker to get us started with part two, Sarah Campbell Arnett has 38 years of experience in health care, both for profit and for nonprofit systems. The last 21 years, she has provided executive coaching and leadership development at Cone Health in Greensboro, North Carolina. She has board experience with the American Dance Therapy Association, Presbyterian Counseling Center and the Creative Aging Network of North Carolina. She has led workshops, leadership training and facilitator retreats across the United States. Sarah specializes in team development, conflict prevention and change management. And Sarah retired from Cone Health after 32 years to begin her own consulting business and for Sandbox Coaching and Consulting LLC. She is also a member of the on-call faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership. And Sarah is a board certified coach and certified change management professional. She is certified in CCL Benchmarks 360, Insights Discovery Profile, Myers-Briggs, Workplace Big Five, DISC Suite, ACTE Change Simulation, Implications Wheel, Change Style Indicator and Influence Style Indicator. Thank you so much for being back here with us this morning, Sarah, to kick off part two for us. We invite you to go ahead and get us started. All right. Welcome back for some and welcome to first go round. We did have a previous session and you can check with Lindsay about that recording. So in the previous session, we talked about knowing your role, knowing yourself with the DISC and then understanding your people and how to better communicate, begin that communication. There was a leftover question from last time about dealing with conflict and we're going to be addressing that today. So the objectives today are to look at, we're going to be mainly talking about four basic big criteria and it's going to be critical thinking and conflict resolution, effective time management and some coaching skills. There's also a handout for people that like to write down and capture their own thoughts and ideas. And Lindsay has just put that in the chat box as well. So encourage you to, if you learn better that way by writing things down, please do that. The skills that we're talking about today, I want to help maybe connect the dots, which is actually part of the critical thinking skills, is that these are linked. Thinking about critical thinking skills can also involve conflicts and also come into play when there's time crunches and you want to grow and develop your people. So hopefully all these sort of make sense and help one another during the session. I think last time we had a good mix of new leaders and some seasoned leaders. So please feel free to use the chat option to give your thoughts. And one of the things that I've heard from a lot of clinicians currently and recently is that there seems to be less critical thinking skills being taught in schools or people coming out new to the organization. And they're of course critical in healthcare and being able to think thoroughly. So I'm going to give you a model that might be helpful in organizing those thoughts, but really talking about being able to follow a process in which you're evaluating, analyzing, assessing, and coming up with an answer to something that's facing you right now. So what I'd like to have is your wisdom is if we don't improve critical thinking skills, what's the consequence when there's a lack of critical thinking skills in your opinion? When you've seen new clinicians, new people, maybe not in the clinical world, but new to role, and they don't have the experience you have, what are some of the consequences when we lack critical thinking in any of the healthcare, whether it's direct patient care or supporting those that do? And just always good to think about what happens when we don't do this well. You can type your comments here in the chat. I think they can come off mute too and answer the question, and sometimes an answer is easier to say than it is to type. And this format is a little bit harder for them to come off of mute, but you can raise your hand and I can give you the option to, but yeah, you can certainly utilize the chat box here. So Lisa writes increased errors. So we make clinical errors, which can have small and humongous life and death situations. Of course, we're in a critical care field, so absolutely errors can happen. And I think the challenge is the person making that decision may not see the error right away or understand the consequence. So we're going to look at all that. If you're a leader of people and they may think they made the correct decision and you see it differently, how are you going to share that? We'll talk about that when you get feedback. So Debra, good point that the failure to see the end results, that it wasn't fully thought through, it was thought through like maybe halfway and then jump into action. We're also an industry that is very action oriented, so people just want to get busy, so we're always thinking about doing something. And sometimes there needs to be a pause moment so that we can reflect on what really needs to be done. So Kimberly or Kim also talks about the decisions are poor. And again, when we look at what is a poor decision, is that objective? Is that subjective? Might there be other more than one right answer? And if you have an opinion, how do you get that feedback and grow your staff underneath you so that those particularly the errors don't occur? So we're going to be using this model to help you think there are several critical thinking models, but I just want you to this is a sort of easy three part, the red model about recognizing assumptions and then evaluating information and then drawing conclusions before you step into action. So Kevin, thanks for your comment too about dependence on colleagues, that critical thinking gives you some autonomy and independence. Sometimes we do need to work with each other and get other people's thoughts and the more that you can think on your own in successful ways, you can move more freely and more independently as long as it's within your scope of practice. So those are all great, great comments about what happens when you don't do these critical thinking skills. So let's start with the pause. Again, we generally want to jump into action. And so when you're about to make a decision or do some critical thinking or, you know, even going addressing a problem is to evaluate, is this worth my time? What time is it going to take? Is this important to the business? And am I the right person to respond? Now, these may sound like a little bit of silly questions because many times, many will and we'll talk about this in time management, is it urgent or is it important? And sometimes urgencies take over our day and our week and our life. And we never feel like we really get the important things done. So Stephen Covey talks about the big rocks, you know, he sometimes shows a container and has big rocks and he puts the rocks in first and then he says, is the glass, is the container full? And it sort of looks like it's full of big rocks, but it's not really full. So then he puts sand and then he puts water in there, like it really fills up all the nooks and crannies. And the only way if you consider the big rocks as the most important things for your day, as it's most critical, those need to go in first, because if you put the sand and the water in and then try to clump the big rocks before, even if there were little rocks as well, they would only fit if they go first. So really at the beginning of the day, making some plans, and we know that sometimes plans go out the window and many times you never get to your plan and that sometimes happens as a leader. But thinking about what's most important to accomplish this day, this week, and then how to get those done and make a priority, because there will be a lot of urgent pulls and pushes. So if it is worth your time, it's important to your job and it's what you're accountable for and you are the right person to respond, you can proceed. If there's a question mark or a no, I've read this book years ago and I don't remember all the details. It was called Do Less With More. I do remember the DAIN model there and continue to use it. And DAIN just stands for Delegate, Automate, Negotiate, or Eliminate. So thinking about particularly if I'm the right person to respond, I know how to do this, but am I the right person to respond? So if you can delegate, particularly downstream, it grows your people, develops their skills, and then gets stuff off your plate because you are needed with the highest level and scope of your work, even though you might be technically able to do tasks that you've done before or that people that report to you do. And then how to automate it. How to get things that go into automation so that you're not spending time hand calculating or emails go automatically to I'll read later or to delete so you don't have to spend time there. How do you negotiate when time is a crunch, it's like I can either do this or this, which is more important? And if all of that is a waste of time, then you want to eliminate things that are big time wasters. So the pause is really looking at what is the plan, what's most important, and am I the right person? Then proceeding on from there, assuming that you are the right person, this is the model just of what do you do in your brain as you're looking at the situation? And again, this could be clinical and nonclinical as well. I think what these list of questions are in your handout and they're in the handout by the letter and then at the end of that, all together so you can really see what those key questions are. I think what is the problem we're trying to solve is so helpful and I find that we get way into the weeds or we jump past the problem and what's the maybe a secondary problem or a cascading problem we're trying to solve that one when like what is the real issue we're trying to solve? I think that is really helpful, particularly with a group of people to make sure that everybody's on board with solving the right problem and the same problem if it's a collective efforts. And so looking at the facts and not your assumptions or what we're making up if we don't know information, our brain just quickly goes to an interpretation or the last time it was similar to this or what I've read and it may not in true be what's happening currently. So in this area, the recognizing assumptions, we really do need to look at biases and assumptions. So if you've done something 100 times and you just say, well, I always do it like this, maybe this time is not that time. So just because you've done it routinely or many times, the assumption is, is this still the right answer for the right time and the right situation? So sometimes we just get into habitual patterns. We always do it like this. And so we don't even realize it's an assumption because it's worked for us so well. It's just the way we do our work and questioning or just pausing long enough to say, what assumptions am I making? So I'll go clinical for a second and if somebody's in pain and they just had surgery, it's easy to say, oh, it's just surgical pain, not just, but one might say it's surgical pain. It's huge for them. And this person may have some comorbidities or cardiac issues or who knows, are they positioned right? Is there something in their bed that they're laying on? It could be other kinds of things, serious or not serious kind of things. But if you just make the assumption of, I've already given you your pill and you can't have another one, really identifying is it something else and making sure it's the right problem that you're trying to solve and that you're not assuming that it may be more complicated or slightly different scenario. And then you're looking for strategies, support to, you're looking for evidence to support your strategy. Here's the plan I have. And are there any gaps? Do I have what I need? Are the materials here? Is this the right situation? Is this the, again, if in clinical situation, is this, are there other clinical histories that I haven't read about? The other thing is, who are the other key stakeholders? So if you're solving a problem or doing some critical thinking around something, it probably also impacts other people. So who else is involved? Is it other coworkers? Is it other departments? Is it somebody with authority that can override your decision or might see things differently? And so again, thinking about other people and particularly as a leader, if you're making critical decisions and you're making policies or this is the way we're going to do it for now, can this be done through all shifts and all scenarios? It might land well with one shift, but not another. Are there other kinds of situations? So as a leader, you are making decisions that impact more and more people. So your scope of who you're considering, not just at this very moment, but if I make this decision, can I sustain it? Can I be consistent across everybody that this involves? And are there other ideas that might need to be explored? So I might not have the ideas. Who might else need to be brought in that I don't know all the situations? So this is the first one, just looking to see if there are any questions or comments. So if you have any questions about this, thinking about a time when you've had to think critically. And again, oftentimes this comes when a time crunch and you don't have enough time to get everything done that you need to. And so the problem you're trying to solve is what is the most important right now, given the time I have or given the resources I have. You need to do the staffing schedule that is due in a couple days versus what's right in front of you. Where do you spend your time? Where do you get that done? So staffing may be a few days off, but it's critical because your staff is one of the most upsetting things if the schedule's not done on time or if there's challenges with that. And of course, you make probably staffing adjustments every day because of call-ins or situations that impact your world. So in a business world, they also just in thinking, I'm now working for myself. And so I not only have to plan this delivery, so I had to work on the PowerPoint, then I have to be here at the time when I deliver, and I am looking for other opportunities. So I have to build my business, do my business, and plan my business all at the same time and putting those in place. So there's various arenas and situations where you're critically thinking. So it doesn't always, for those of you that are not in the clinical mode, but in the support, supporting clinical decisions, there are also critical thinking, financial decisions, billing decisions, coding decisions, all those kind of things where you really need to think through situations. So we're going to look, dive a little bit deeper in your, into the assumptions and biases. And again, if you're human, you have biases. So if you say, I don't have any, that's not possible if you're part of the human world. So our brains just filter information because we can't contain all the information in the whole world. We always filter information and that creates biases. So being aware of a bias about, I'm looking at this and I'm not looking this, or I skipped over this, it's just part of the human world. So it is sort of inevitable. And so there are some key types of biases that show up in the workplace. And you have these defined in your worksheets as well. So I'm going to skip to the worksheet. So that has some language there for you to understand. So the confirmation bias is, again, when you're looking for a certain situation, if you go into the room and person's had surgery, they're probably going to be in pain. And guess what? They're in pain. So you're assuming that's going to happen. That's what you usually do. And so you sort of skip over anything else that might happen because you expect it. And that's called confirmation bias. And the affinity bias is when we share similar interests. So if Jorge or Marietta think like you or look like you or believe like you or went to school at the same place, you might assume that they think just like you or having the same experience. So just because people you're familiar with them and they usually make a good decision or they usually do this, in this situation, did they actually do that? So you have to pause and evaluate even if you're very familiar or understand that person. We also make attribution biases where we give them labels. You know, they're a good worker. They're a really strong nurse. They are very timely at showing up. They are polite, respectful. And so we label people like that and give them attributions. So then clearly their critical thinking skills are good or, you know, do you really agree on 100% of their decisions? Because you label them in some way. And again, we give people labels a lot to, again, to help our brain function. But there are also gender and age biases. So that's we're learning more and more about the variety of ways that people identify with genders. And so we're, you know, needing to learn more about the non-binary and as well as male and female. So, you know, do you have that knowledge and what do you know about that so that you can address all kinds of people that come to the hospital and the same with ages. We have, it's easy again to label them as certain generation and they may not fit that criteria particularly. So I'm really looking at the individual. We can also have bias about authority biases that people that have authority over us might be more accurate or my boss should know or the upper leader should know, somebody above me might know. And that may or may not be true because we're all humans and we all make mistakes. And good news about mistakes is we only make them daily. So we can adjust and learn and move forward. And then we have the halo and the horn effect, which is again, if you sort of have somebody on a pedestal, think very highly of them, you may not catch some mistakes or some differences of opinion. And just opposite of that, if you have a view of somebody that's negative that you can harshly judge them and not really understand that sometimes you're thinking the same versus differently. So those are just a few of the many, many biases that show up in the report. We're gonna have a little poll here. So Lindsey's gonna put the poll up about which one do you see as most disruptive in your work, whether you're doing it or other people are doing it, which one of these shows up in your workplace and maybe disrupt some of the work. Lindsey, are you able to put that poll up? It looks like it is not here anymore. That's very strange. It disappeared. It did. So why don't you all type your comments here in the chat? So you can type confirmation bias, any of these here that you see, go ahead and type those into the chat. Okay, Lisa was first to start. Thank you. So affinity, people like us, I wonder if we'll get some common themes or we'll get a variety, might get the whole shebang. So first two have talked about affinity and authority bias. And if it's hard to even question authority, then you get sort of into psychological safety. Is it okay to question authority or is there way the right way? Is that part of the culture that can definitely get in the way of critical thinking because you don't have the freedom to really question? So seeing several affinity, affinity biases get in the way, some of the halo. And interestingly, if you think about halo, affinity and authority, those are all sort of good things to have in the workplace. You want people that are, it's fun to be with people that are sort of like you and understand you. And if you have a halo effect and you really like them, those are all great things to have at work. And yet y'all are putting them down as they can get in our way. So again, they're good. And we always have to look at, is this really helping the situation? So keeping our critical thinking hats on in that way. So appreciate those that added to the chat. All right, so we will move on to the second letter, which is to evaluate. And so once you've sort of identified, am I doing biases? You'll see there's still a point about biases here, but you're evaluating the data that you have. Here's the situation at hand. I know the problem I'm trying to solve. So what are the pros and cons of what I'm considering? And then again, just reevaluating your biases about the information, the data that you're selecting, because you may skip over some oddball information or something you hadn't tried. And it's really helpful to have, because we're sort of a team sport in healthcare. There's always people around. We don't work in absolute silos or in all by ourselves. We sometimes work in silos, but we don't work all by ourselves. So is there somebody else that might have a different opinion that can help expand or give you some options here? And again, considering the impact, and particularly as a leader, because your decisions have more impact than when you were a solo practitioner or employee. So what you may have done just impacted you and your work. And as a leader, you now have responsibility over a department or a shift, more people. And so every decision can impact other people. And how are you going to do that? And then you have to look, as a leader, you also have the view of a budgetary. You have to deal with the finances and how to keep the business running. So not only is this a, is it a good decision? Is a safe decision? Is it a affordable decision? Like, can we sustain this long-term? When I think about some of the critical decisions, even in the COVID days, when people were having, you know, staff shortages. And so we created traveling nurses and that gave more mobility and people had, we had more staff that were able to float and it cost the hospitals a lot of money. And now the hospitals are recouping a lot of that. So, you know, we needed it at the time and it created some financial backlash. And so how do we afford and make a good decision and a safe decision, both for staff and for our patients? And then looking at, you know, evaluating who's going to disagree with this, because you're probably going to have to present, you know, your decision or the critical process. And so who's going to disagree with it and what might, you know, their viewpoint be so you can address it or give them a heads up about it as well. And then the final question is, what key points of perspective do you need to have as you evaluate your options? Again, just keeping open mind, is this solving the right problem for this situation today and not just a knee jerk response? And then the last third letter is the drawing conclusion. So you've looked at the, you've got the problem, you've looked at your options. So now what are you going to decide and how are you going to go into action? So what is the best conclusion? How are you going to share that? Do you need to share that with multiple people as well? And going back to, you know, evidence-based, like, does the data really support this? And always check back with common sense. So does it, sometimes people have the smell test or the spidey sense or whatever. Does this just make sense to your common sense abilities and not that it's just like a sterile process? So every once in a while, just stepping back is like, does this make sense to the situation? And then looking at the timeline for making your decision, would the decision be different if it was in a month or if you had longer time to deal with it? And so it may be a quick decision and you make the best decision with the information that you have. And what opportunities does the conclusion provide? So looking at the best case scenario, what you're hoping for, what your intentions are, and giving us the opportunity to try something new, to learn from any mistakes that are made. And this is always connected to that bottom question, what are the risks associated with your conclusion? So part of that is, are there any clinical risk, any personal risk, employee risk, financial risk, organizational risk, can this decision be sustained? So you'll have these lists of questions as you go through critical thinking processes. And if anybody has a example about where, this might be helpful, what kind of scenarios are where critical thinking comes up? And I also think part of the critical thinking is there only one right answer. Many times are the problems that we're trying to solve are actually not problems, but they're paradoxes. We need inpatient and outpatient, we need critical, we need acute, and we need quality and cost. And so we have these back and forth decisions that it's not just one or the other, it's a both and. And sometimes that critical thinking is where are we in this process? So given the complexity of healthcare and the time urgency and some of the pressures that you're dealing with, sometimes there's more than one right answer. And if you choose an answer really to talk about the intention that you have and what you were hoping to accomplish in the problem that you were addressing. So being able to lay that in a story. Now, for people that are really good at critical thinking skills, and it comes like that, you may not even know that all that stuff happened in your brain. And some people are so good about having strategic planning that just comes to you so quickly. And I've often had to work with leaders in that capacity as a coach to actually slow their brains down long enough to go through this process or ask them some questions about what was the problem you're trying to solve? What did you consider? What did you have to put aside for now? What was the risk? What was the implication? What are the repercussions? And they don't even know that they've already gone through that. If you're one of those people, have somebody that can help you slow your process down sometimes so that you can teach it to others. So for those, again, that it comes like that, you may get frustrated with people where it doesn't come as quickly. They get paralyzed by so many options or they're fearful to make a mistake or they got reamed out the last time they make a mistake. And so they may have some hesitation or procrastination about it. And so as a leader, teaching these skills means that you have to identify, are you good at it? Are there people that are really good at it? How do you learn that process? How do you develop the process for yourself? And how do you teach it to your employees so that you're not the only one making critical decisions? You pass some of that power and autonomy and independence on and grow your folks. So again, if you have questions, I can come back to this. I'm gonna move on to the next topic, but if there are any questions that you need, Lindsey's monitoring that. And Lindsey, feel free to stop me and we can go back if it takes a moment to type that in. When we make decisions, sometimes we get into conflicts and sometimes conflicts are just happening. So we are gonna address, this is a big topic in the communication skills. It's also a big skill for leaders when you have to manage conflicts. Sometimes it doesn't even pertain to you. It's between two people and you're their managers. Sometimes you need to manage, it's a direct conflict meaning it involves you. So again, I'm gonna give you a model that I hope is helpful. I'm gonna review this model that we talked about in the last session, what I call the key to life is just dissecting what happens in a relationship. So conflict, well, I would say conflict always happens in a relationship. Sometimes you can have, some of my strongest conflicts in my own brain. So maybe it's my relationship with my brain. But usually when we're talking about two people in conflict, just looking at what are the dynamics. So what you see in the model here, the blue circle at the top, the top circle or the blue circle is the intent and behavior. So as we were talking about in critical thinking skills, being able to say, what is my intent when I'm communicating with somebody? And you behave accordingly. So that's what we do. We intend to show up at work. We tend to intend to attend this class, it's hard to say, or I intend to teach the class. And so I'm behaving in a certain way to give you information, to give you ways to ask questions. And so that's my responsibility. The bottom circle is then the receiver of information. So you are observing my behavior and the content of this class, and you either like it, you don't, or it's neutral. And when we do surveys, then we find out directly. So that's your circle to own. And in our relationships, you own two thirds, I own two thirds. And when we interact, it's about behavior between us. Sometimes it's nonverbal behavior. Sometimes it's written behavior. Sometimes it's sort of a lack of behavior. And it impacts us. Generally, we judge ourselves on, I had a good intention, therefore, it must have landed well. And then unjustly, and very common with human beings, we judge others on the impact they have on us. So if you mess up my day, I don't like that. I don't like you as quickly where we can go. Or you're a jerk, or those kind of things. So if you negatively impact my world, I'm going to think negatively of you, versus they had a good intent, and it just didn't go well. So that's where a lot of the conflicts happen. We have a positive intention and a bad outcome. So what can we do about it? First of all, is realizing that you only have direct responsibility for two thirds. Either share your intention, and then behave, and then ask about how it landed. Or you're sharing the impact it had on you, and asking what the intention was. What did the other person mean to do? So this is where we sometimes skip over the parts in the clinical world. We just jump into a series of tasks and actions that we know pretty well, particularly if you've been in the field for a while. And we just behave with good intentions. We want to help people. We want to make a positive difference in people's lives. And we behave accordingly. And yet, our customers sometimes, whether it's an internal customer, an external customer, a patient, a family, a colleague, is that it lands poorly. And we just assume, well, I do this most of the time, and nobody else complains. So you must be the problem, when in fact, if it lands poorly for a person, then it lands poorly for that person. And I didn't intend that. And I need to hear about it, first of all. And then I may need to change my behavior. So walking into a room, and a colleague says, hey, can you check on the IV in room 207? And I go in, and I just look at the IV and do some changing. The patient's going to be left with a lot of questions. Who was that? Where's my nurse? What's wrong? What did they do? Did they mess with my IV pole? Do I need to worry? Where's the call bell, et cetera? So if I leave somebody with a lot of questions, they're going to get anxious. They may get mad. And it's not going to go well. If I walk in and say, your nurse asked me to check on the IV. It looks like there's just one button I need to push, and everything's fine. She'll be here. She will be in shortly. And I could have even said, my name is Sarah, and I work with your nurse. And so explaining is what I mean by sharing your intention. You're actually saying, I want to help you, and here's what I'm going to do to help. Your nurse is not available. I can check the IV, and he or she will come back and check later. So we forget those words, which is what I call narrating your life, to really say what you intend to do. And then you have to ask them, was that helpful? Was that useful? So that you knew, do you have any other questions to the patient? And so you're asking how that landed, because they're the only ones that can say whether it landed well, poorly, or neutral. And did that match your intention? And then again, on the back side, if you're having a conflict with somebody because you didn't like their behavior, you are going to be sharing the impact of what their behavior had on you and how you felt about it. And then you're going to ask them, is that what they intended? Usually, you see that when you share that, the impact of their behavior on you, and it's negative. If it's a mistake, you will probably see that right on their face right away. They usually go, oh my gosh, I didn't mean that, or oh, I had no idea. So you'll often see a very quick response if they didn't mean to have a negative impact. If they did, it might look a little snarky, or to say, well, good, because you irritated about last week, and now you know how it feels. That would be a negative intention finding a negative impact. So that still worked for them. It didn't work for you. And usually, people that work in health care have positive intentions and behave in such a wide variety that they think they are meeting that intention. And until we say, hey, that didn't work for me, or that had a negative impact on the patient, or the finances, or the billing, or the food choices, or whatever it is in health care, they may leave that interaction thinking, yep, I had a good intention, and it landed positive. So it's important that when things land positively and negatively, we share that with others so that they learn their patterns. This sometimes works. This works a lot. People really like when I do this. I'm going to do this some more until you get some other feedback. So very simple model. When you have lots of people on the floor or in an office, all these bubbles are colliding, and they're flipping back and forth. So as soon as I have an impact on you, then we switch bubble directions. And so it can be very confusing. But it helps just to break it down like, where am I on this model? What do I need to share? And what do I need to ask of others? And again, we tend to skip over that and just start behaving, assuming they'll understand what we need. So our patients, we think we're doing evidence-based practices, and yet we cut them. We take off their clothes. We sometimes put them in pain. We do surgery on them. They're hurting a lot. We put tubes where there shouldn't be tubes. We give them pills that have side effects. They don't feel good. And then we send them a bill. And then we expect that they are grateful for our evidence-based practices. And some of that hurts, doesn't feel good, messes up their whole world, their finances, their days. And we get shocked when they're not so happy. So again, sharing our intentions out loud more often is really helpful in preventing conflicts. But let's say we get in a conflict. So what model do we use? And this is tied to the IBI model. Where's the Beef? This is an old commercial for Wendy's, so you may be old enough to remember. But it's got three parts. You may know another conflict model. They usually have three parts in it because these are the three parts that are really important. And so I'm gonna use the beef model. So what I was trained in by Helen Kleiner, you see her name down at the bottom. She has a book if you wanna read further about that. But what was actually the behavior of the other person that bothered you or that didn't land well? Was it something that somebody said or didn't say? And the behavior is visible even if it's fleeting non-verbal. They may raise an eyebrow, clench a jaw, that's still behavioral versus judgment. And so this sounds simple and it's not always so easy. So what did they actually say or do? So if you'll get ready to type, type in chat, I'm gonna do something on screen and I want you to say, what was the behavior that I was doing? So get ready to type. So tell me what behavior I'm doing. Okay, so I see swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming. Swimming, swimming, swimming. Several of y'all are saying swimming. So am I really swimming? Do you see any water around me? Am I in a pool? So what behavior am I doing? Good, Kimberly, yeah. No, I'm not swimming in a pool. I am doing, I get that you quickly go there because it looks like I'm swimming and I love swimming. What am I actually doing? Staying afloat, what are my arms doing? What would you say my arms are doing? How would you describe to somebody that doesn't even know what swimming is? What would you say my arms are doing? Motion pinwheeling, right? So I'm moving my arms in circular motion or a pinwheel rotating forward, great. So that's behavior. Saying I'm swimming, I get it, it's not descriptive. So maybe pretending to swim, you're moving your arms in a circular motion as if you were swimming is more descriptive than saying you're swimming. Cause I could say, I'm not swimming, I'm not in any water, I got air all around me. So the reason for describing the behavior is it decreases the arguments about it. It gets people less defensive because they're left with, yep, that's what I did. If you happen to have an opinion, a label or judgment that is not what they're thinking, you'll end up fighting about the words and you never get to the real issue. So having people quotes, if they say something to say, what I heard you say was, that was a stupid idea. I'll say that's the quote. Or I heard you tell a patient, what I overheard you saying to the patient was, I don't have time to deal with you. And so if you quote them the way you heard it, if you happen to hear them, direct quotes are absolutely what they said. If it's non-verbal, it's hard. If I cross my arms, roll my eyes, now I'm narrating as I go, but if I just went, you probably got a message very clearly. If I said, what were the behaviors? That is almost hard. Because you got the message so quickly. Our brains get it. I was frustrated. I was irritated. I was bored or whatever. So you have a judgment or label about it. What did I do? Cross my arms, roll my eyes, turn to the side. That's the behavior. And again, this sounds very, very picky. And the point of being the pickiness is that they can't argue with it. It is what you saw or heard. Sometimes I've heard people say, well, you said blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they go, no, I didn't. Yes, you did. No, I didn't. You get into argument about the words. If you say, what I heard was this, they can't argue about it because it's your world. Going back to the intent and behavior bubble, you saw, and then you are evaluating or you heard something. So I encourage you to, particularly if it's a really important conflict that you need to address on performance is that you wanna reduce the resistance. And so this model I have found to reduce the resistance because you're being factual and data-driven and not about your opinions and that they can argue about. So if there are any questions, again, type in or need more examples, we can type in. I will say that oftentimes people would send employees for me for coaching. And sometimes the leaders might give me judgmental information. Like they were rude, they were lazy, they were unprofessional. I get those judgments. I have a picture in my head about what people might be doing that would be rude, lazy, or unprofessional. What did you see? What was demonstrated? What did they do or say that led you to rude, lazy, or unprofessional? And if you can get your staff to be more specific because you may consider certain behaviors as rude and they may not. And so it's just helpful to catch some of those common words that we use sometimes and to say, and what does that look like? What actually happened? And when did this happen? And what did they say or do? And if they say, well, you know, they were just rude. And to say, I understand that you felt it was rude. I would like you to tell me what they actually did or let's break that down into behavior so we can really address the behavior. Another phrase that I often hear with people in conflict is they have attitude. And again, totally get your judgment and the label for that. But what did they do that to you looks like they have attitude? This works at home, by the way, with children. So being very specific about what they do or don't do, what they say or didn't say. I asked you a question and I didn't hear you give me a response. Now that might be a rude, a definition of rude to me. They may not have heard me or they were confused about the question. It might've been all kinds of things instead of rude and they may have been rude. So you turned around and you didn't answer my question and I felt insulted or I felt disrespected. So now we're getting into the effect. What was the intangible? This is the part two, the tangible impact for you or whatever you're responsible. If you're responsible for the shift or a unit, what impact did this have on your responsibilities? And if you can get tangible and I'm thinking time, money and energy, those are good things. Did this take someone else's time? They did this and as a result, I had to redo the test or the patient was delayed in discharge or we couldn't get the report in on time. So what was actually the impact of their behavior? So if you can imagine a still body of water, like a pond or some lake or something that's very, can be still. When people drop through your life in a conflict, they are like a pebble that you drop and the pebble goes to the bottom of the floor, it goes to the ground. But what you live with is the ripple effects of that stone dropping into your life. They don't see it, they move on and move past it, but you're living these ripple effects. So describing, what are the ripple effects of that behavior on you or your responsibilities? Behaviorally, time, money, energy, what did it, did you have, again, did it take your time, someone else's time, we had to, the procedure needed to start over, the discharge was delayed, those kinds of things. So often we get upset by single patterns of behavior, then we get upset by patterns of behavior and then we just don't like them. If you're at a place where you irritate me or I don't wanna work with you, probably lots of things have gone on. So if you can describe the impact of each significant behavior and then develop a pattern, if it's a pattern behavior and you haven't ever addressed it before, you've missed those opportunities, it's helpful to start with single behavior and then develop the pattern, say now we've addressed this on Monday, Wednesday and last Tuesday, it's now, I'm upset because it's a pattern. The impact is, again, what difference did it, did their behavior make on you? And then you didn't like it, so if you're in a conflict, it's either mad, sad or scared. Those are the three of the four basic feelings. If everything went really well, it's probably on the GLAD scale. If you're in conflict, you're probably addressing, did this anger you, did it scare you or did it sadden you, you were disappointed, you were let down, you felt isolated in some way. Those are scales on the sad, mad or scared scales and that's usually when we have a negative impact. So in this model, when you have a positive intention perhaps and a negative impact, I'm gonna describe the behavior that I saw or heard that you did, but I wouldn't start with you did this to say I, start with I, I saw this behavior on Tuesday and the impact it had on me was it delayed my getting report out on time or something like that. And then in this model, we are asking that you share your feeling because this is personal and you're having a reaction, probably mad, sad or scared and it's showing on your face. So you're gonna identify, is it a little bit or is it a lot bit? And there's a word for that and you can go from startled to petrified. You can go from disappointed to depressed. You can go from irritated to rage. So there are a lot of words in all these three basic feelings. Pick the one that makes sense for you and you're sharing that. So the reason that, again, that we share the feeling is because it's between two people, in some ways it's giving you a signal that things are not going well and you're sharing all those pieces. So if you notice that all these are sharing your part, which is you saw a behavior and you didn't I guess, so you're sharing that is to ask, and what was your, how did you recall that situation? Do you recall happening? What did you hope would happen in that interaction? You're gonna ask them a question and you at least know where they are, but you're gonna ask, let's not assume that you know everything about their mind because you don't have responsibility for that. So we're gonna give some examples, put all this together. So the, by the way, the beefy model does not have to be in that order. You can put it in any order that you want. You can put it in any order that you want. The beefy model does not have to be in that order. You don't always have to start with the behavior. You might say, I was really the patient. They hadn't gotten the medication. That they were, or something like that. So you were not on the unit. So it could start with the feeling, it start with the impact, the beef, but those beefy models just helps you remember the three parts. What was actually the specific behavior, the tangible impact, and then the specific feeling. And then you're gonna ask their side of things. So when you're dealing in conflict, the beefy message is just the start of the conversation and not the whole conversation. So you can't, or I don't know who gave you a license or you should be fired or any of that kind of thing. So you're addressing specific behavior and asking. So I'm gonna give you a couple of examples. And if you have questions along the way, again, Lindsey's watching the chat more than I am, but every once in a while, I'll look over to see if there's any questions or you need clarification. So here are a couple of examples. Real quickly, I was gonna say that you. Beefy message. Can you hear me? I think you kind of cut out there for a second. It might help, I think it might be your connection just a little bit. It might help if you turn your camera off and that might not pull as much of your bandwidth. There's some bandwidth, okay. All right, we'll see if that helps. All right. Thank you. Do, was there any part that you felt like was so choppy it might not have gone through? I don't think so. And if anybody has any questions or needs clarification on anything, go ahead and type that into the Q&A or the chat, but I think this will help and we should be in good shape. Okay. So here's the first example is that beefy message put together. So again, if you can identify the three parts and then put them into a sentence or two, this is a short message because it's only the start of the conversation. So yesterday, when you came in at 7.20, we were expecting you at seven. That caused report to be late, caused report to stay late. I left an hour later than scheduled and got charged extra at daycare. I was irritated. Were you aware of that impact? So that's the ask at the end. So you notice a couple of things. Yesterday, you came in at 7.20. I didn't say you were late. I said, you came in at 7.20 and we were expecting you at seven. There may be something part of the schedule that was adapted and I didn't know about. If you can be descriptive, the word late sort of charges, it brings an emotional charge and people start, I wasn't late, I was expecting, I was given an overtime or something like that. They may come up with an excuse. So if you can be specific about when they came in, that helps. So as a result, I left an hour later than scheduled and got charged the daycare and I was irritated. Sometimes what we, so that's a full beefy message. And then we're asking, were they aware of it? The mistake often is that we leave out that impact and we just say, you came in late or you came in at 7.20 and that irritates the snot out of me or you did it again. And they can see the irritation on my face. They can hear it in my voice. I didn't say why I was irritated. When I had to leave later than scheduled and got charged extra at the daycare, that connects the dots between my feelings and their behavior. And they can see that something they do has more ramifications than just their own life. And again, this is, we humans sort of get self-absorbed. And so we don't always realize that what we do impacts other people's daily schedule, daily life, financials, emotional kind of implications. So the second one is, this would be, I brought you both here because I've spent three hours interviewing your peers due to raised voices at the team station where patients could hear. I'm frustrated that I had to stop my work to delve into that and disappointed to hear that this might've occurred. I would like to hear your side of things. So this is where the beefy model is really helpful and gives you more leverage as a leader when you aren't present. So if you ever walked in and opened the day with a conflict and you weren't there, it was on third shift or something or another shift that you're not on. So the beefy model actually gives some strength to your addressing the situation because now if you have to hear about it from both sides or hear about it due to investigation, hear about it from patients or other employees, it's now interrupted your day. And so to be able to say, I spent three hours interviewing people and I'm both frustrated about interrupting my work and disappointed that I had to address this. And then you're gonna listen and ask for their sides of things. When you, again, they may not have known it, who knows what they will hear or what they'll say, you don't know that part. So you really have to listen to what they're saying and what their understanding of thing. And then you're gonna continue listening, understand, which we practiced last time about really understanding what they're feeling and what the content, what was their intention was, and then say, our utmost intention is patient care. And if this is disruptive patient care, then this is not okay. And raise voices or talking loudly is disrespectful and not professional behavior. My expectation is that it would stop or as a result there may be, if this has happened a lot or if it was very serious, it might be some consequence to it. But you first wanna get a really clear message with that sort of they can't argue with and then ask about their point of view. And then you're gonna go into that critical thinking decision about what am I going to do? Is there action that's needed? Is this a pattern of behavior? Saying this seems really unusual for you. I've never seen you do this. Is something else going on that I need to consider? And maybe some tragedy happened at work and they were on pins and needles. Who knows? Doesn't mean that they can yell and it may have been out of the ordinary or it may be a pattern. And because I've addressed this three times, I'm really fatigued at bringing this up over and over. So again, you can see how, I'm gonna go back to this part, is that you are sharing the impact of their behavior on you. And then you're gonna ask about what their intention was and how they chose that behavior. And then you may be going back and forth. Well, it sounded like you had the patient's good intent in mind and the consequences, this impacted the physician or the family or billing or another unit or something like that. So they just may not have access to that. So this model fits nicely into both listening and understand and the BFE model when you're addressing conflict. And usually about this time, people are asking, yeah, but what about, what about dot, dot, dot? You might have a scenario. So again, you can either save those for the Q&A or raise your hand. These sometimes are more complicated. I'm gonna give a couple more scenarios and think about what would be your BFE comment back? How would you make sure that those three parts are included? So two staff complain about each other and you weren't there. She said, he said, which is what that example was sort of like you weren't there and it takes your time to sort out and directly away from patient care. So a couple things that you can do we have similar feedback in the in the last last slide and because I brought you together because I'm hearing that you're not happy with one another's performance or behaviors in certain ways and we need to sort this out. It's taken me a lot of time to figure out what's going on so I'd like you to talk to each other and even teach them the beefy model to say what behaviors did they do and what was the impact on you and how did you feel about it and then if you're moderating a mediating conflict with two other people turn to the other person say what did you just hear them say what was the behavior that was most upsetting and did you hear the impact what impact did you see that having on them so really teaching this model this beefy model to two people so that they're talking to each other so they learn the model number one it is what I call clean conversation they're not attacking they're not judging or labeling people because when people feel judged they start getting defensive so all this is to bring the defenses down and so you're actually have a stronger sort of point of view this way when you're not there it still is impacting your daily work or your responsibilities and how can you use the beefy model to be clear about the message and then teach your staff how to address that directly so you're not always the mediator this is about you know growing your people so that they have better communication skills stronger communication skills so when you are delivering negative feedback to somebody again our spidey senses go up that we're being accused or judged or evaluated or maybe we're going to get in trouble our defense mechanisms goes up and I found again this model to keep the defenses down if you're trying to serve oh imagine a tennis game or more frequently a pickleball game and you're trying to get the ball over the the net anything that you do that judges accuses calls them names labels them puts words in their mouth or I know what you were up to like you're reading their mind those things raise the net and make it harder to get the message across they're busy fighting you about the words you're saying so it takes some practice I have been teaching this for many years so it come may sound like it comes across pretty easily it's simple it's not always easy to do and I found that it leaves people with as much fact and then they still have an opportunity to participate in the conversation so as long as people feel like they can get their side of things in it also decreases the anxiety and the defensiveness so encourage you to practice on your own take a small small conflict something that's sort of no big deal and try this out I wouldn't say practice on the biggest conflict you have in your life right now because it's complex and it's take some practice to get that beefy model over now we'll say you can have the perfect beefy message and deliver it so well and they're going to get upset still or you don't know what they're going to say and that's true that's probably the hardest part of the conflict is you can plan for the first go around and then you're you're winging it after that because you don't know what they're going to say what they're going to do maybe they cry maybe they get defensive maybe they accuse you of something and that's when it's easy to get off track again what was your intention I need to address this behavior and I wanted to find out your side of things and either you're setting guidelines I expect this not to happen again or due to this being the 14th time this is the you know this is the consequence of your behavior so there may be some disciplinary action and certainly if it's illegal or unethical it may mean you know this you can no longer work here those are when it gets very very serious about that many times we have many many meaning m-i-n-i many conflicts and we just think oh well I'm just not going to deal with this I'm not going to address it I'll let it slide this time and then it happens to become a pattern and you've never addressed it so encourage you always go back and say I haven't addressed this important in in the past I just saw this happen on Tuesday and I'm going to address it right now so on Tuesday in the staff lounge during report in the meeting with the clinical rounds or something be very descriptive about when it happened what it was and the impact it had on you all right so we are going to move to time management because I'm watching my time time to time management why I teach time management so again time management pertains to what we just talked about conflict skills and critical thinking skills because many times critical thinking comes when you have too much to do and not enough time which is beginning to be a lot of our lives and we can get into conflicts when we're time crunch or you don't have time to address it now and it becomes bigger and worse if you let it go so these skills are all really tied together in some ways so thinking about the time again we're given the same we all have the same amount of time so what we share we have 24 hours a day and how we use those is depending on I'm pretty good at it too I'm not so good at it or I get lost in time I'm not aware I let things go or get upset and it takes my time so we'll look at some common time wasters and I think there's maybe a poll for this one so meetings and emails might be your time wasters interruptions tasks procrastination or delegation avoidance and so I think Lindsay let's see if that that poll's ready to go there right so here's a poll if you can click on the top one for you we have a short list here so just tell me the top one we'll see where everybody lands I'm glad the poll worked this time and I did just post there in the chat but if you have any questions for Sarah be typing those into the Q&A option down at the bottom of your zoom window or if you don't see that you can of course type your questions into the chat as well we want to make sure that we address all of your questions for her today just another couple seconds here okay all right looks like we've gotten some good responses I'll go ahead in that and share those results thanks emails meetings and interruptions which can all be the same thing I think sometimes I'm not surprised top two are usually the top two as I've done these sessions over and over and I'm glad to see procrastination is a little bit of a problem but not too much that can be a big time waster and put a plus in the chat if you go to so many meetings that you leave work and now have to do your day job I mean people have more meetings than fill up the day and you still have stuff you can't get stuff done because of the meetings and you feel like you go home to do your day job so got some pluses in there yep so we are meeting machines it can be and so you know how can we manage that a little better I think in my hospital we sometimes had monthly or weekly meetings that went on for years and no one ever questioned like should we disband or have we solved the issue or what is it that we're trying to get accomplished and we even did an audit of one meeting that the point of the meeting was to develop a report and no one ever read the report so you know is it really landing the way it's supposed to so we got rid of that meeting and that task because it wasn't relevant anymore so I'm going to talk about two things one is sort of auditing or evaluating how you manage your time where where does it fall and then maybe a trick or two about managing time as well and I'll look for any experience or additional ideas or suggestions for those who have found some some good ways of managing their time so if you're new to leadership let me just re-emphasize that you are not going to get it all done if in the olden days you might be able to get a task list done as a leader in a three 24 7 365 business you're not going to get it all done and so what are you going to get done you'll be busy and and what are are they the right thing so there's the wisdom about managing all that what again go back to Dana can I delegate automate negotiate or eliminate anything because I have new responsibilities if you're new to leadership you may have to let some things go that you used to do and other people are going to be doing that and you're going to focus on new things so Stephen Covey this is the Stephen Covey urgency index time time matrix index and you have a in your handout you actually have a little survey that Stephen Covey does about the distinction this is a two by two grid of is it urgent or is it important and those are again helpful beginning criteria if you're thinking about critical thinking is it urgent or is it important because we're in the urgent industry a lot and we also do a lot of important things but we have a lot of alarms and bells and the words emergency as part of a big part of our business and so looking at auditing your calendar so you can go back and print off your calendar and actually place do a monthly or weekly audit and say where do I spend my time and again this is a two by two grid where quadrant one is both urgent and important we have a lot of stuff there you can type into the chat what you think is urgent and important in your in your basic work life so many times people put in things like safety or their employees or scheduling might be urgent and important so that is the things that are are probably you know it's the quadrant of necessity I need to address these because it's both urgent and important in the second quadrant is where it's where it's not urgent and it's important and there's a star here because Stephen Covey feels like that this quadrant over all of them needs more of our time than we give often because it's not urgent and in this quadrant he talks about relationships team building rounds employee rounds or patient rounds it has to do with relationships and with people and it's easy to say we'll get to that later we got too much to do I can't afford that time I can't afford slowing down long enough I need to keep action action oriented and so it is easy to dismiss or put off things that are not not urgent and they're important and he vitally thinks the research shows that that successful leaders spend 30 minutes a month with each employee and I know some of y'all may just have fallen out because in our hospital some people had 100 direct reports so that would fill up your calendar but to have some if it's not 30 minutes a month 30 minutes a quarter are you having individual time with people where you're connecting people building trust finding out how they're doing sustaining developing the people that need to develop and and retaining those great star employees so those are all activities in that quadrant two the quadrant three is where it's urgent and not important so it's the quadrant of deception and so that's a lot of times when other people's emergencies you've heard the saying like your emergency is not mine they can come to you with a lot of passion and emotion and you know like we got to get this done right away as you know the deadline's coming up and you know just sort of pushes you right into action and it's very contagious and it may not be your emergency or it it may not need to be done now by you and so really deciphering about urgent and importance here is that how important is and is the urgency about it really needs to be addressed or is it just somebody else's anxiety or fear around it and then the final quadrant is waste and excess which is neither important nor urgent and like I said when excuse me when we did the audit on a meeting that was developing report nobody read then that would be waste and excess a lot of time developing something that nobody read and how do you evaluate whether it's wasteful and excessive are you getting things accomplished is the format still the same are we getting the results and again just because we always did it that way doesn't mean we need to always keep it that way because our circumstances change and this is usually where emails and and some meetings fall so if you feel like you're in a meeting and you've neither contributed nor learned anything you know one possibility is to to question whether you're the right person right now you know can you delegate that to somebody else maybe it's a growth opportunity for somebody to attend that meeting and you get the minutes or you get updates or you get brought in when a decision is made and so as you rate rise up in leadership you can't be everywhere all the time and so making choices about not attending a meeting because something else is more important and more urgent and making those those trade-offs versus just doing it because it's on your calendar so you can end up being sort of tied to your calendar and not really thinking through of all the activities and what's most important and what can I let go of so I encourage you to do a calendar audit every once in a while where are you spending your time is that where you want to spend time are you getting your big rocks in is what most important to you and the kind of leader you want to be is that on the path and if not if you're gone a lot or in meetings and you feel like you're not adding value and you're not seeing your staff you may need to make some changes or adaptations certainly with your your one-up as well so what we know from time management we spend often spend time where on what we value and so if you value being with people or getting things done or tasks then that's where we spend our time and sometimes our money so you can look at bank bank accounts or statements it also tells you where you sort of spend your time unfortunately my family spends a lot of time on cable connection and internet is that really what I want all of our time and money spent on devices versus people and looking at your calendar and outlook will give you a report about how you're using your time as well so just suggested a time audit either calendar bank accounts give you some indications about doing that now one of the the tips that I'll give you that's really helped me over time is that I would end up taking some work home and having to do a lot at home because I was too busy at work to get some done so this is a tip that I learned and it's helpful some of the time with some of the things so consider that you've done a calendar audit and found that you know you've got back to back to back to back to back and never have time to get things done so one thing is to do a sort of a different kind of audit and realize that when you have when you're responsible for something such as planning a meeting running a meeting doing a presentation writing up a report and you're being tasked with it or being asked to do it or it's part of your job then looking at count putting three things on your calendar instead of just one do you have on your calendar this this number one is time to prepare for the meeting presentation or report so this is where are you going to actually create it and we need to think about it what needs to be addressed at the meeting where's the agenda or what is the presentation going to look like what is the report you need time to prepare for that so putting on your calendar a block of time to do that work and then you have the time for the meeting or the presentation or when the report is due and then a third time to do follow-up so after a meeting is there minutes to be emailed or the questions to be answered did you promise to do some things or put away materials or whatever it is there's thinking about three calendar events for some of your major timed events again meeting presentations reports due dates those kind of things budget reports or whatever those are sort of bigger items you wouldn't want you don't have to do this for for smaller things but for significant things can you can you get your phone out right now if you're on the on your if you're on this call on your phone you may not be able to do it but I encourage you to pick one meeting report presentation that you've currently got on your calendar and put those other two times in there so that you start developing time to actually do the work and don't fill up your day with a lot of urgencies and these important things don't get done until the weekend or at night and that is exhausting and so you're actually trying to learn to put things on your calendar and then you have the very difficult part of honoring your calendar is don't give that time away because that was time that you were going to do the work for the presentation so I'll give you an example when Lindsay called me to do this presentation she said could I do it on the 28th and that's one calendar day yes I can and then I had to look back and say when am I going to develop the handout and the powerpoints and give myself time to do that and make sure it's appropriate for her and she was okay with that. And then in the handouts and then I will have to see if there's any follow up or were there any questions or was there any tweaks that we need to make for the next time. So those are three calendar events for me not just am I available for the 28th but when am I going to get the work done do the presentation and any follow up that's needed afterwards. So it can happen once you get that started on your calendar and start doing it for more and more time you'll find that you have planned time when am I going to get this presentation done oh on Tuesday where I blocked two hours to do that or I have an hour to do that I'm going to chunk away at it I'm going to have two or three shorter times on my calendar so I can take chunks of it and do part of the presentation so that by the time I do the presentation I have it done in a way that that fits with my calendar. So this is something that I learned later in life which I had learned it earlier because it has created space for me to do work and I get it done during more of the work time and less on additional weekend times and evening times. So if you have any other tips and tricks that have worked for you feel free to help your colleagues by typing in the message or if you want to raise your hand Lindsay can call on you but do want to give you some specific things doing a calendar audit and then calendarizing three spots for big events so that you have time to plan do the work and then the follow up afterwards. So now we're going to go on to our fourth topic which is our coaching skills. I'm a certified coach and that takes many many many hours and I'm a coach and yet I want to give you some coaching skills that you as a leader can do when you're coaching somebody else. I want to distinguish what coaching is and isn't as well. So when I first became a coach way back in 2001 most people still associated coaching with athletics and they had the playbook you tell the players what to do and if they didn't do it you know they had to give you laps around the whatever. So the coach was in charge telling you what to do but professional coaching is slightly different and so the International Coach Federation which is really the governing body of coaching defines it as facilitating self-discovery and increasing awareness of the relationships between the way you do things and the results that you get. So that does not always mean a problem. This could be you're doing really well and you want to continue even getting better. So you can coach people to improve when they're doing fine. It's not about problems necessarily or if something's not working and they want to address something and try a new method again we get stuck in habits and patterns and sometimes we don't see another way out. So as if you put on your coaching hat sometimes you're managing behavior and sometimes you might want to coach somebody to find their own answer so that they're not always coming to you for solving their problem which fills up your calendar and looks like an interruption and you could coach them into finding their own way. So the primary skill of coaching instead of telling is asking. So questioning is the primary skill. Asking good questions that helps people discover a methodology that might work or what's getting in the way of the results that they want to achieve. The other skill that you have to keep on, keep in the background is your curiosity because as soon as you say I know the answer and I am right then you lack curiosity. So if you have to be the know it all and the right at all it's always right then there's no room for curiosity or other right answers or options. So this is not a skill for all the time. Remember a lot of times you're leading you may also be managing and you might be coaching. You may also be mentoring somebody and helping them grow skills. So I want to distinguish those three of those words managing mentoring and coaching because sometimes people use them intertwined or intermingle those and so if you have an analogy imagine that you're managing my driving. We're going to be a road analogy here is that you're going to react to my driving because you're in the passenger seat. So if I'm let's say I'm driving and you're evaluating how I drive then you're in the passenger seat and you're going to give some evaluation you took that turn too fast watch out for that bump you're going too slow you're you're weaving between the lines you're going to be reacting to people's performance. So that's part of managing your performance is that your job is to react and evaluate whether they are on task or off task mentoring is when you're sharing your expense experience because someone wants to follow your path either the role that you have or the lifestyle you have or the successes you've had and people say I want to do what you're doing then you may not even get in the car with them let's say that they say they're going on a long distance driving trip and they say have you ever done that oh yeah we took a trip out to Utah and it was really great and you should do this and we did this none of this really worked and you should be careful of this and I wouldn't go this way and you know I am telling my advice about my experience and they learn from it and so you're you're if you'd like to give your advice and share your story this is a great role for you to be mentors and we certainly need mentors in the workplace. Coaching is let's say you're going on a long distance driving and maybe I'm in the car but I'm definitely in the passenger seat or the passenger role is that I'm not driving you're driving you're taking a long distance driving trip so I'm going to ask questions and stay curious and my job is to help you find your own path in your own way to do this long distance travel so I might ask the first question is have you ever done this before you know do you have any experience in long drive what's the longest you've done what do you usually do when you prepare for that what's most important you during a long driving trip is it getting there quickly or is it seeing the path along the way what do you do you do you stop somewhere how do you take breaks are you drive all the way through how do you stay awake how do you stay safe what do you do if there's weather conditions you know what are your plans so a lot of curiosity and questions about something and that's different than judging or I wouldn't do that or I hate long distance trips so you shouldn't do it not not giving them advice but you're really asking questions out of curiosity I find most people in our realm of the world are totally successful people they've navigated life and survived a lot so they have skills and I just need to find out maybe some of those skills and experiences might pertain to the questions that they're asking so let's see Lindsay for the next thing I'm going to turn my put my camera back on just for a few minutes hope I don't get garbled up in the audio for a moment but I'm about to do something again on screen and I want you to get ready to type in the chat and what I want you to type in is questions that you have for me once I start doing something on screen which I haven't started yet and those what I'd like you to type in chat are questions that begin with how or what and not why so I'm going to do something a little wacky and the first question might come in is why are you doing that you know why don't you stop why you know why that when we ask people why questions why did you do this or why didn't you do this we get defensive because we are now explaining the rationale for us and we're you know just feel like we have to explain our condition and that brings defensiveness versus exploration we let's say that somebody made a bad critical decision it's like why did you do that so what I may ask instead is what criteria did you consider in making that decision I'm going to learn a lot about the why without ever asking how do I without getting you defensive so what and how questions are really helpful in finding out more about the scenario not getting people defensive etc all right so here I'm going to do something and I want you to get ready to type into the chat how and what questions you might have ready here goes And I really hope you type fast. Somebody give me a what or a how question. There you go. How does that motion help you? What's wrong? Okay. There may not be anything wrong. What's the highest you've been able to raise your arms? Good. How's that move benefiting? I love these questions. Good. How long are you going to keep that up? Might be that. What do you hope to gain? What are you doing with your arms? Yeah. What is the purpose of that? I love this. I'm going to stop while you just still type. What's causing you to move your arms? Do you need a stretch? So you have an idea. You already have an assumption. So that tells me, is it Branka or Bronca? Thanks for doing that one. Because you're moving my arms and you're already assuming I might need to stretch or I'm trying to do something. So hold on to that first thought. Do I need a stretch? It's like, tell me what made you decision. You know, what caused you to raise your arms? And then it's like, oh, well, I'm trying to stay awake or I really need a stretch or I pull my shoulder out. The doctor told me to do this. Are you going to find out more information for me than why are you doing that? I was like, because, or you get very limited short answers. So for some people, this comes very quickly and naturally. You're a questioner and you ask lots of questions anyway. And so turning these into what and how questions instead of why questions can be really powerful. For those of you where I had to learn to practice asking questions. And so coming up with what and how's questions can be helpful to, you can see the list in the chat, how other people, those are all good questions. There's no wrong question, what and how. And again, the purpose of that is to help people see their own process, their own methodology and for you to learn about them without just giving them an answer. It's sort of like, if you tie somebody's shoe you'll always be tying their shoe. And so this is finding out how they would like to tie their shoe or to buy Velcro or slip-ons. And what's their method of getting that done so that then they can not ask you to do it for them. And again, that helps with your time management sometimes with your conflict management. And when you're learning about your people asking what and how questions, you get a lot more than just the single answer. And you find out more about them and it develops your relationship and your trusting relationship that helps you as a leader. So when you are in, I don't know, with people that are close and their behaviors are predictable, this might not be as relative, but I find that asking what and how questions are really open-ended and I'll learn more about people. What happens is like, I might give you some warning, I'm gonna do something wacky. The things that come up suddenly and catch you off guard is where you might automatically like, why are you doing that? Or why didn't you do that? Or that kind of thing. So it's when things catch us off guard is a great way to pause long enough to ask what and how questions and to begin to train yourself more of the time hearing for those questions so that they come up automatically because it is the sudden, unexpected, bizarre out of the ordinary where our judgment about why did you do that comes up. So I encourage you to practice. I'm not gonna check your homework and I encourage you to practice anyway. So we are coming up to the wrap up. If anybody has any questions, we have covered the critical thinking model. We also talked about the conflict model, the beefy model. So we had the red critical thinking, the beefy model for conflict skills, the time management audit and using your calendar to protect time to work. And then finally some coaching skills where you can develop others and not always solve their problems, but to help them develop their own strengths and abilities and their way of doing it. Now, again, if you, they may find that they have a way of doing things that they came up with, it still needs to fit within the business parameter. You can't just let people find their own way and do it. We need some guidance about it needs to fit within the best practices or this model or the hours of day or the money or whatever. How might we get to this result in a new way? So I am going to just open up. Are there any questions that people, all the what else you have a unique situation, particular situation that you want to ask about or any clarity of those four skills? You need questions. You can go ahead and be tapping those into the Q and A option found there at the bottom of your Zoom window. Or if you don't see that, you can of course type your questions or comments there into the chat as well. And Sarah, I believe your contact information is included in the slide. So someone maybe has an example or a situation that may be experiencing that they just don't feel comfortable typing it all out here. If they can reach out to you after the fact. Yeah, I think actually I noticed on the slides that my email was not, I'll put that in the chat. Okay, perfect. All right, so you see her contact information there. She just put that email address in the chat. And then as you are typing in your last questions here, I did go ahead and just post some final information there for you all in the chat, just as a reminder that you will receive that email tomorrow morning. But just note that it will come from educationnoreplyatzoom.us. And so because it does come from that Zoom email, it quite possibly will get caught in your spam quarantine, possibly junk folders. So if you don't see that email in your inbox in the morning and you'd like to go back and access the recording of today's session, you can always use that same Zoom link to access the recording that you also use to join us for today's live presentation. And that also applies to part one. So if you're joining us today and you missed part one, you can go back and use the same Zoom link that you would have used to join the live session to also access that recording. And then just remember that each recording link is available for 60 days from the date of the live session. And we do have an additional security measure in place of manually approving each of those recording access requests. So you'll just need to click on that Zoom link and type in your information, and that will prompt an email to come to us for approval. And we approve those requests very quickly, typically within a few moments of receiving the request. We ask that you give us one business day to grant those approvals. And then again, you'll have full access to the recording for 60 days from the date of each live session. And then also included in that email that you'll be receiving tomorrow morning will be a link to the slides that Sarah presented for us today. But I did go ahead and provide that link there for you in the chat, in addition to the handouts as well. So those are both there linked in the chat. Okay, I see one question that came in. Sarah asks, with critical thinking skill coaching, do you ever see them graduate or is this considered an ongoing forever event? Some have more difficulty than others, but shouldn't improvement in those skills be seen? So I would hope that people continue to develop critical thinking skills. And since our body of knowledge is always changing and improving and adapting, I think we always have, I hope people are lifelong learners. So I think people can be really have strong critical thinking skills, then we could use them to teach others to have it. And some are not even aware they're good at it because it just is the way that they are. They just think like that normally. And so identifying you are good at critical thinking and I could really use your help in improving, you know, Joe Schmo is not or whatever. So I think there are two questions in here. Do you ever graduate? You know, I think we can always evaluate what decisions did I make today because the problems and polarities that we're having to determine right now are getting more and more complex and more rapid. So I think we could be a forever learner and some people are stronger. And then if you can identify what the difficult parts, maybe this model would help you. Is this where you get, you know, walk me through what you considered or didn't consider, and let's walk through that. A good chance to use your what and how questions, but have somebody identify where do they get stuck? Is it they get stuck in biases? They don't know where to get information. They are worried about getting punished or something like that. So find out a little bit more about, tell me more about what part is the hardest. Maybe not where you get stuck, but what part. But some people do struggle with this. They've never been taught. And some of our education system is teach to the test. Here's the answer. This is the one and only answer. And they haven't thought about how to get there. And so, you know, they just might not have had that experience. So you as a leader have that opportunity to help them think through something in a way that's going to serve the organization or your department. Great question. Debra, thanks for that. Yeah. Okay. I don't see any other pending questions at this time. So again, if we can, if you have any further assistance, or if you have a question that you'd like for us to pass along to Sarah, that maybe it's just more in depth, or you'd like to just discuss privately with her, you can always reach out to us at education at gha.org. We'll be happy to pass that question along to Sarah. And then she did again, post her direct email address there in the chat a few moments ago as well. Thank you all so much for joining us for this series. And thank you so much to Sarah as always for your time and the wonderful information that you shared with us. I feel like I always walk away from time with you learning something. So I greatly appreciate that. And I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your week. And again, don't hesitate to reach out to us at education at gha.org. If we can be of any further assistance. Thank you so much, Sarah. I hope you have a wonderful afternoon. Bye.

Sarah Campbell Arnett

healthcare professional

leadership development

team development

conflict prevention

change management

Sandbox Coaching and Consulting LLC

critical thinking

clear communication

conflict resolution model

Where's the Beef?

time management

coaching skills

effective questions