And now I would like to introduce our speaker to kick us off with part one this morning. Miss Sarah Kimball Arnett has 38 years of experience in healthcare, both for profit and for nonprofit systems. The last 21 years, Sarah has provided executive coaching and leadership development at Cone Health in Greensboro, North Carolina. She has board experience with the American Dance Therapy Association, Presbyterian Counseling Center, and the Creative Aging Network of North Carolina. She has led workshops, leadership training, and facilitated retreats across the United States. And Sarah specializes in team development, conflict prevention, and change management. Sarah retired from Cone Health after 32 years to begin her own consulting business, Ampersand Box Coaching and Consulting, LLC. She is also a member of the on-call faculty at the Center for Creative Leadership, and she is a board-certified coach and certified change management professional. Sarah is certified in CCL Benchmarks 360, Insights Discovery Profile, Myers-Briggs Workplace Big Five, DISC Suite, ACTEE Change Simulation Implications Wheel, Change Style Indicator, and Influence Style Indicator. Thank you so much for being here with us this morning, Sarah, and we invite you to go ahead and get us started with part one. All right. Thanks, and welcome, everybody. I'm excited to have you in the class. I am watching a couple screens, so I can't see faces so much. So if you have a question, Lindsay will be monitoring that, and feel free to pipe in at any point. There was some pre-work that you see on the bottom left-hand screen about the DISC profile. If you've never had the DISC, we're going to be talking about it. So if you were able to do that, mainly we just want to write the percentage of the four letters, like what's your primary preference style. If you didn't have time to do that, you can do that afterwards and just take your best guess when we're talking about it. I also put it there because it's a free, well, it's not actually an authentic DISC instrument. It does give you a good analysis, and you may want to use that for your staff members. So the things that I provide, I like to have you have a tool that you can then turn around and better understand your team or have people understand themselves a little better as a leader. You'll notice my email in the front slide. So if you want to jot that down, and you have copies of the slides, should you have any questions, you can contact me via email as we go forward. So let's review why you're here. This is a class called Peer to Boss, and so we want to address what those issues and challenges are, particularly if you've moved from a staff position into a manager. If you haven't had that path, you're still welcome and it's still appropriate to be here. So we want to look at trust-building skills as a manager, what are the characteristics of being an effective manager, some of the emotional intelligence is understanding more about yourself so that you can be the most effective you in your career as you move up or as you move deep into an organization, and some clear communication skills. So we'll be talking about all of those. And before we get started, I'm going to have Lindsay put up a poll so I could just get a little chance to know who's in the room. So how long have you been in a leadership position? If it's early on in your career, zero to one, you could check that, two to 10 if you've had some experience or if you've had a lot of experience, 10 or more years. So if you will select one of those, and then Lindsay, when it looks like most people have done that, if you'll show us who's in the room today. I'm sure we have a lot of views. Pardon? Yeah. No. Go ahead. No, go ahead, Lindsay. Sorry. No, you're good. I was just saying I see lots of folks still answering these questions here. I was just going to let you all know, I know Sarah referenced the DISC personality assessment, a couple of the other availability or available handouts and all for you today. So I did go ahead and link that so you have that now as a resource in the chat. So if you have not had a chance to do the personality assessment, you can go ahead and click on that and have that as a resource there for you as well. And I also provided handouts. If you're a person that likes to write things down, you can print it off and take notes if that's how you'd like to learn. Absolutely. Okay. It looks like we've hit a slowdown point here on these responses. So I'll go ahead and end that and share you those results. All right. Good. So we have some good experience. So I'm going to invite you to pipe in if you, so we have 45% of the class that have had two to 10 years and 40, almost 40%, 10 years or more. So let's help out those folks that are new to leadership. And every time you start a new leadership, it's new. So hope you find some values, some practical things that you can use no matter where you are in your leadership journey. It's certainly an ongoing process because the world is changing and what worked five years ago may not be working now. Certainly COVID shifted the whole workplace and the priorities and the challenges are quite different in, with staffing issues, hybrid work, hybrid teams, retention, hiring processes, et cetera, which are finding all across the world. So today's class, we're going to spend a little bit time on you getting to know yourself and your role and where you're going. And again, whether you are first time or experienced, if you're in a new role, it's new, you're the new person, whether you come from a different organization or up within the organization. So it's really important that you do, or it's helpful as you start a new job to think about where do I want to go? Where do I want to lead my group? Am I being my best self? What kind of leader do I want to be? So that's what I call mirror work when you're looking at yourself. And then the other part is what I call window work. When you look outside, who are my people? What team have I moved into? What team do I have currently? As opposed to fantasy, like what team would I like to have or what did I used to have? Let's really look at a current appraisal so that you know that you can lead with the people that you have. So we're going to be doing another poll in just a moment, but these are some common concerns. We're going to see if any of these help land for you. For people that are moving up within an organization, you may have been a peer or a friend to somebody and now you're their boss, so how do I lead my friends or peers? How do I delegate effectively as you move up in leadership? I'll say this probably more than once, you can't get it all done. And so part of leadership is learning to delegate and grow people that can do part of what you need to accomplish, that you identify the issues and need to delegate, and how do you let go of some of that control that you used to do? How do I gain respect and trust of a team when I have authority over them and influence over them? I want to maintain trust and respect for effectiveness. How do I avoid the perception of favoritism, particularly if you know new people and now you're their boss, trying to prevent that favoritism? And how do you separate personal and professional relationships within the organization? Again, you may have moved around. And there may be some other concerns. So Lindsay's going to put those particular questions up and just check which one, it could be multiple, but a couple of them that really hit home for you right now. What are some challenges and concerns you're bringing to this class that you want to make sure that we address? You should all now see those options there on your screen. I see several of you responding here. And I think I did select where you could choose maybe more than one. So if you have a couple of concerns, which I can see how that would certainly be the case here, you can go ahead and select all those that may apply to your situation. We'll give it just another couple of seconds here. Some of these polls, go ahead. Nope. So sorry, Sarah. I was just going to say I see some of you typing or selecting that option for other concerns. And if you have, go ahead and type those into the chat and just let us know what maybe some of those other concerns are. Or if you would prefer to let us know anonymously, you can utilize the Q&A for that and just type in your other concerns and you can submit those anonymously as well. And you're invited to come off mute and talk it. I can talk faster than I can type. So sometimes it's just easier to talk, but give you a variety of options. Okay, looks like we've gotten some good responses here kind of all over the place. I'll go ahead and share that. Okay. The one here that came in to the chat or to the Q&A, excuse me, says dealing with conflict resolution among the team is a hard pill. Yeah. Okay. And I believe we're going to be talking about that in class too. I'm giving you a sort of an overview of many of the leadership challenges, and I can do a class on any one of those topics, sub topics. So we'll address some about conflict the next time. But so delegation, respect, good. So thanks for responding. And sometimes these polls are just helpful, like, shoot, I'm not the only one dealing with this, that they are common to the group and you're not alone. So that's really important as a leader is you have less and less people that you can sort of confidentially lean on and really important to have a network of side by side or what I call horizontal peers that you can connect with. So I encourage you to do that. So I'm going to talk about just elevating yourself. So if you've been moved into leadership, you have been promoted or elevated. And sometimes I've had many people in class, like they were a peer on Friday and they're a boss today. Like it just happened. And you look in the mirror and see the same old person you've been looking in the mirror for with. And you can say, it's just me. You know, why would people be upset about me or why would people change? They've known me for a while. Here I am. Same old, same old. They know what they're getting. They interviewed me. I am what I am. So to you, you may look the same. And yet when you get a position of power and authority, if you have the right to hire and fire people, people will treat you differently. And so learning to promote or elevate yourself that while you're looking at the same image in the mirror that you do have a new role. And with each, if you're moving up in the organization, you move from managing people to managing managers of people and managing sections of people, you know, divisions or departments. You may have multiple roles. And as you move through that process, you sort of get further away from the groundwork of what you may have originally done. And you have influence and authority over other people. So want to look at just what's the difference between a manager and a leader? And if anybody wants to put in the chat what they see as a difference, you may be doing some of both of these processes. I do have an answer. I do have an answer. And in the handouts, there's a place to write some of these answers and just provide that. But I just, if anybody wants to add to my list, that's fine. What I'm identifying as a manager is there are parts of your job where you need to do planning and budgeting and organizing. You're in charge of staffing. You may be controlling the situation or the timing of events that come and always problem solving. We do find that managers, probably 60 or 80% of your day is spent in problem solving. And so you're probably really good at that, probably why you partly got hired. And then a distinction around leadership is that you, as a leader, you're really establishing direction. You're aligning people to that direction, for that direction, motivating people to use their strengths towards the established goals and objectives that you've been given to accomplish. And then producing change and navigating change, I would say, even adding on top of that, because sometimes change occurs without you being in charge of it, but you're really aligning people that we are now going to do something different. So in shortcut, sometimes I talk about managing processes and leading people. And you may also have leaders in your team that don't have the badge with the title on it as leader, but they can also be informal leaders. They're great at leading people with or without the badge. And so to be a good leader, part of it is switching from tasks to people and back and forth. You're doing both. So there are tasks or processes that need to be established, and you have to get that done through people. So learning this sometimes is the newer skill is how do you actually influence people to do the job? You can't do it yourself. So you actually have to motivate and lead people through the process. So as you transition through into leadership, you do move from that specialist, whatever clinical or business process you learned used to be able to do it really well. And you get less and less familiar with some of the weeds, and you're looking across the whole space, the whole lawn, not just the weeds in there, but what is the biggest picture? So as you move up the ladder, and I don't mean this in any snobby kind of way, but as you have a higher lens, you see a bigger, broader picture, and you have to let go of knowing all the details and the weeds and rely on people that work for you to do some of that. Likewise, you have moved from a tactician to a strategist. What is the strategy to use all the tactics instead of just getting tasks done and checking them off your list, that you actually manage many, many tactics, and who's doing what, and how far along are we, and being able to see where you're going. And if anybody's had small kids and traveled, when we have summer coming up, if you've ever had a small kid in the back, what's the one thing that they say when they get in the car and you start driving is, are we there yet? And so we never really get out of the back seat of the car, and even as adults, we want to know how far have we come, and are we there yet? And so part of that as a strategist, as a leader and a strategist, is to keep reminding people where we are and where we're going. So you also move, we talked about you're probably a good problem solver as a manager. So as a leader, you move to problem definer. What are the problems? But you may not be solving all of those. You may identify other problem solvers to actually get that done. And what's really helpful for the team is to identify what are the challenges or problems or issues that need to be solved. But you stay out of the solving and keep on that strategy level. And then finally, sort of wrapping all this up, from an individual contributor, you are not rewarded or compensated for just your work, that you are compensated as a leader on being a role model, leading the people, getting a lot of information, a lot of processes, a lot of problems done through other people. And so your success is defined more on other people's success and not your work alone. So this is the mind shift that is helpful to, as you grow in leadership, multiple times or as a first time leader. And that mind shift is really critical when people don't turn those corners or make those shifts, as I just identified. They can really sort of stall their career, get stuck in their career, and not very successful because they keep doing the job they used to do. And so this is part of promoting yourself. So how do you start moving into this transition? Is really get clear with your boss, your new boss, about what are the skills that are going to help you currently. The skills that were successful in the past may not be the skills you need in the current or future. And so really understanding what are people on my, again, my horizontal level, what are my peers doing, what skills are most helpful, and how do they define success. To be open to continuous learning, and I'm sort of talking to the choir here because y'all are here in a learning situation and open to learning about new ways of leading. Again, if you haven't heard this message as a leader, you're not going to get it all done in the olden days. You might have had a task list, got it done at the end of the day, wrapped it up, gone home. And particularly in health care or 24-7 business, 365, it's a handoff business. And so nothing really ever gets finalized. It gets handed off to the next person. I mean, there's always new patients, new processes, new billings, new business processes or whatever. And it's a cyclical work. And so expecting to get it all done, particularly within a single day or the end of the shift, is really not reasonable. So you're identifying, where are we? What needs to be the next step? And if I'm gone, who's going to do it? And that's that strategy mindset that we talked about. As I talked about earlier, really finding the horizontal peers in your position. If you've been elevated to a leadership role, having a strong network of people in like positions in different departments is a huge uplift in your strength using a network. And again, the further you go up in leadership, the fewer they can be. And it's so important to have, not just pay attention to your boss and your direct reports, but really have your own personal network that you can bounce ideas off, see what the trends are, see what other people are doing, what are the best practices. And that may be also considering a coach or a mentor. So there are professional business coaches. I have my own clients where I work with leaderships that are very successful. That does not mean that you're failing in any kind of way. It's just keeping your skills sharp and continuing to grow and expand. So a coach is somebody that is a side-by-side partner that helps you reach your goals, mainly through inquiry, and may not know anything about your job, but they know about leadership and about you reaching your goals. A mentor is somebody who is or has been where you want to go. And so they are offering their expertise and saying, well, here's how I did it. Here's what you might expect. Here's what I'd suggest. So coach, mentor, any of those, and peer colleagues can be great access to your almost having like a board of directors for yourself and having people that are on your side that are supporting you in your growth. And you always want to look at expanding the knowledge of industry. Again, the higher you go up in health care to look across the lines that you're not just looking at your department, but what are the other departments that interface with yours? And what is the bigger picture of health care in our world, in the United States, in your state? What are the trends, the possibilities, and the challenges? So really looking at a much higher level and exploring and researching differently than just basic skills. So this is a time that's a lot to do. And so where do you spend your time? You can't, again, always get in the weeds and solve very problems. But identifying how do you divide your day and what part are you going to allow for interruptions? I mean there will be interruptions always always, so do you schedule time, some open door if you have a whole packed schedule and you can't allow for anything to go wrong or any interruptions then you're going to be cramming and stressing your own schedule. So really looking at how do you spend time, do an audit of your calendar and identify are you out on the floor with your direct reports, are you having time with them, are you working on looking at strategy in the future as well, and your decisions have bigger ripple effects in your leadership role, so considering the not only making a decision but what is the impact with the department across all the shifts in other departments in the in the organization you work for, what is the impact of your decisions on other people, so each decision has a bigger ripple effect and you're solving for strategic outcomes and not simple problems. I'll also say that the problem problem has a solution, so if you can solve it by a single answer, we're going to do this or we're going to switch to this, that's a problem to be solved. I will just throw out the concept that many of our wicked problems in health care and all industries across the world are more polarities or balances of two opposing tensions and polarities aren't problems to solve, they're energies to balance and tensions, so I mean there's a whole body of work called polarity management which I'm not going to go into today, and you'll also hear me talk about the word and, so I have my own company is Ampersandbox, so in health care we have like quality and cost, we have inpatient and outpatient, we have centralized and decentralized, so there are many types of these polarities where you're not choosing it's a both and, and so as you solve for strategic outcomes, it may not be deciding one answer but balancing multiple answers, and that's can often be pretty tricky in the current space. So do we have any questions that are popping up, if I can clarify anything or if you want to apply anything we're talking about, please put those in the Q&A, and Lindsay I'll just ask to interrupt me if something comes in. I don't see anything at this time, but as Sarah just mentioned for those of you who may have missed our opening statements, if you do have any questions, I would encourage you to utilize that Q&A option found at the bottom of your Zoom window, or if you would just like to engage with us by making additional comments, then go ahead and utilize the chat there, and we really welcome you to do that with us today. So you've got at the end of the slides too, you have reference of some of the references resources that I use, this came from a book about leadership the first 90 days, so getting a good start, this is particularly for people that are you know just starting a new leadership, and I would also say that the start of a new physical year, the start of a new calendar year, the start of a new quarter can also be a chance for you to say I'm going to stop and do a fresh start, or we need to turn a corner in some way, or I've assessed some changes that need to make and sort of make a new start, even though you may have been there for years. So this is some examples of if you're starting a brand new job, and you're coming into a new group particularly, or again peer to boss, you're coming in as a new role, so you may want to write to the staff if you have emails or snail mail addresses, that's very old-fashioned, so I don't know how many people get much personal mail, but personal mail sort of really jumps out these days, because most people just communicate by text or email or electronic communication, so a handwritten letter to say you know look forward to arriving, this is you know I'll be getting to know the group, I look forward to meeting you, and I'll have a staff meeting to introduce my skills, and to find out, tell you my path moving forward. So any kind of communication, if you have a plan, I want to meet with you each individually, so if you see a calendar invite, it's just a chance for us to get to know each other more personally, and then I can find out what your strengths and interests are, so telling people if you're going to meet with them individually so they don't get scared when they if they see personal invites, like uh-oh what have I done wrong, or I gotta go I've been called to the boss's office, and of course at the very beginning it's best to spend time elbow to elbow with your team before you make changes. I think the sometimes leaders have been hired to make changes, and you really have to be careful about timing of those changes. If you come in first couple weeks and start making changes, generally there's a lot more resistance versus they're making changes before they even get to know us, so it's getting to know your team is a huge part of building trust and respect. So you want to look at what to appreciate what they are doing, particularly if you've been asked to make some changes, is is look at what's going right, and not just what's wrong. So in health care we're clinically trained to to look at pathology, you know what's wrong and fix it, and you have to be careful about applying that to people. So there is probably a lot more that's going well than is going wrong, and so you really want to lift that up and highlight it, and if that's a struggle, if you just really zero in on challenges and problems, that may take a little bit more effort. Some of the other things that that strong leaders have done too is ask employees, particularly if you're new to an organization or a new department, who do you as leader need to be talking to in the organization? Who do they think is important? And when you start asking everybody, so you may get repetitive names coming up, which is really important, like oh this is an important person, people see this as a very influential person, I need to talk to them, what would I, you know, where do you see this person helping our team and me particularly? And so getting sort of a network of the organization, particularly if you're new to organization. You can also, developing that peer network, is ask how decisions are made in your area, particularly if you don't know that. So who's the decision makers? What's the process? How do things go? Your peers will give you a better answer for that as well. You also look at re-recruiting informal leaders. As I said before, there are sometimes many leaders on a unit, some have a badge that says that, and some are just what I call informal leaders. They are ears to the ground, they understand what where people are, and you want them aligned with your mission and your direction. So you may need to enroll them in where you're going, and make sure that you have recognized that they're strong with their peers, and you would like to have them remain as an informal leader in the direction that you want to go. So if you are dealing with a peer to boss, and this is really helpful to establish clear expectations of what's, you know, how you're going to communicate. If you are friends with them, you are friends with them, that while I have a new position of authority and leader of this organization, there are going to be things that need to change. So if you had lunch every day with one person, that probably won't serve you well as a leader, probably won't be having lunch in the staff lounge like you did as a peer. So to say that up front, we can remain peers. My behavior needs to shift because I'm now responsible for, you know, the whole department or this whole team, and I need to get to know and support many people. And so some of our behaviors may change now that I'm leader, and we can still do some other things. Now if you have a very strong personal relationship, the appearance of that favoritism can come up if people know that you spend time with one particular person on the weekends or, you know, after hours. So you really need to set clear expectations about what is acceptable for you and how you'll communicate slightly different. So I'd be interested in the chat for people that are seasoned leaders. Is there anything else that you think, if you've gone from peer to boss, what other advice would you give people that are new to this journey about what changes between people that were your peers or friends that you do differently as a boss? So I'd love to see or hear from any ideas in the chat about what advice would you give to others, or what have you found in your experience? I encourage you to go ahead and be typing those into the chat. This first person says limit social media. Yeah, great. And that's gotten stronger and stronger. So yeah, beware of posting what you're doing, who you're doing it with. You may decide to be off some types of social media. But Steven, that's a great piece of advice, is just be aware of your presence. Because if you think, well, not many people look at it, people will search and find all kinds of things. But your your brand is consistent into social media, particularly in highlighted and copy and paste. Don't engage in negative conversations on the clinical floor, right? Particularly if there's gossip or complaining. And you may be responsible for, it sounds like you've got some concerns, let's step into my office, or I'd like to hear what you want to do about it. Or let's not discuss this where patients and families can hear this as a private conversation. So that's also great advice that you may want to complain, you may want to like, I see it too. So Allie's suggesting that you don't engage in that conversation that shifts a little bit. Another comment came in here to the Q&A as well, Sarah, that says, just know that you have to be Switzerland in a lot of situations right out of the gate. Okay, great. So Switzerland being neutral zone versus choosing sides, and being careful that your first thought may not be your best thought. You may have a reaction coming from old behavior, or, you know, again, your decisions have bigger ripple effects. So before you actually make a decision to think, who's this going to impact? Is this consistent with who I want to be as a leader? Can I apply this decision consistently across all people? And so pausing, and that neutral zone is gathering more information before you actually state your opinion or make decisions, because they do have impact. So keep the advice coming. So people can see that. That's, that's great. So the other piece removing, you know, the balance here was the mirror work, understand yourself, but also know your people. And so as you're assessing your team members, you want to look at abilities and willingness. And those are two different processes. And you can't tell on Zoom, but I am short. And so I'm like five two, and I love playing volleyball. So I am very willing to, to stand at the front of the net. I am not really able to spike a ball over the top of the net, because the bottom of the net comes to about here. And I, I'm willing, but I'm just not always able to get it over. So you can be able and not willing, and you can be willing and not able. And that is an important distinction to evaluate. So how, how well are people doing? What are their strong suits? What are their challenges? Are they confident in their work? And are they consistent in their work? Are things around ability? Are they actually getting things done? They may say they can do it. Are you seeing the results? And then the willingness, are they, you know, feel engaged? They're motivated? Do they feel appreciated in their work? And I would say in hospitals, again, the tendency is to tell people the one thing they did wrong, where they're doing 10, 10,000 things right each day. So really catching people doing right and appreciating them. I have yet to find an HR department that is seeing people quitting because they've been thanked too much. So we generally need to hear four times as many positives to one negative for it to feel equal in our brain. My boss gives me equal feedback. Are you giving four times as many praise and catching people doing right to the one thing they might need to correct or adjust? So is that, is the employee taking ownership for the work versus I can't do my jerk because they didn't do my, do what they were supposed to do? Or do they say, here's what's ahead of me. And this is my plan moving forward. So they really own getting the job done despite obstacles because we do have obstacles. And if people wait until they have everything they need before they can be successful, they'll be waiting forever. Cause we rarely have all the resources we need all the time and all the money and all the equipment we need. We still need to get things done anyway. And there are people out there that are taking ownership and moving forward. And does the employee know about how their work connects to the business goals, to the bigger picture, generally hospital workers want to work with people, make people feel better. And they want to make a positive difference in the world. So how do you connect those dots to keep that motivation about, I am making a difference. We are making a difference. We're moving. We're going forward. We're making progress. And so as leader, that's your job to keep connecting the dots of their work to the broader business. Your team may also have some of the big elephants, pink elephants in the room, meaning that you may have people that applied for your job and didn't get the job or don't feel that you're qualified, or they were really close to the predecessor. And they're not sure about how they're going to be successful with you being their boss. They don't really want to start over. It's like, just because we have a new boss, like I'm going to keep on doing what I'm going to do. And you may need to realign to be successful in these current times. This is what's needed. And there's a lot of adaptation and change these days. And you see the some people, if they were close to you might expect special treatment based on their own relationship. So again, addressing some of these individually, if there's, you know, hardship, or certainly if there's somebody, you know, that didn't get the job and is still on the unit, that's a really, really important conversation to have early on. And how can they be streamlined? And how can you be a supporter of their growth in the future? As you begin to talk to teams, to your team as a whole, you'll probably want to have, you know, you'll have your first sort of team meeting, is also asking the team itself about what do they feel like are some of their biggest challenges to face in the future, getting them to look forward and see where the challenges are. And that's beyond like, I don't get paid enough. Or we're always short staffed. Those kind of dramatic words are really, really not helpful. The challenge is not we're short staffed, as much as we have to get this much done with this many people, that gets much more concrete than scaring people with what I call dramatic language, like we never have enough, we never get noticed on this notification about these admissions, or we always get dumped on at the end of shift. So having them participate in rephrasing what is the actual challenge, and what can we do about it? What are some things that they're doing that they haven't been able to, they haven't been tapped into? Maybe there's some opportunities to provide new opportunities for people to step into new skills or unused skills, and you want to make sure that you are using the strengths of everybody. And even asking them, if you were me, what would you be focusing on right now? So that you understand their expectations of you as well as your expectations. So I've talked a lot about things you can do as a new leader. So we've talked about, you know, clarifying where your vision, sorry, correction, pardon me, clarifying your vision, and setting expectations, and getting commitments about moving forward, listening for the challenges that you feel like you're facing, and that they feel like you're facing. Always building trusting relationships, being open and honest about how you're going to communicate, when you're going to communicate, and what the expectation, what a success actually look like. Discovering problems, and identifying, not always solving them, and knowing your people, and how to celebrate. I even had one leader that I worked with, that she would have individual, you know, interviews with people, and she would keep a note card, and she asked, you know, what was the favorite compliment you got? When have you felt most praise, and what does that look like? For some people, that means stand up in a team meeting, and let's all clap and applause. For others, that would absolutely mortify them, and so a simple note on their locker, or a note home, or something like that, might be much more meaningful than than recognition or praise. So you have to know what people want, and how they want to be celebrated, so that it really lands in a way that's meaningful for them, and then you see in the middle part about be available. Some people, some leaders have said, I have an open door policy, and I'd be careful about that. It's not open all the time. I had a boss that actually taught us, like, if my door is wide open, you can come in. If it's partially closed, consider is this critical to today's work, and if it's closed, like, you better be on desk door, or on the way to the emergency department, before you open it, knock on the door. So there's time when you need to shut the door, and focus on your work. So telling people when you're available, post your calendar, so they know where you are. When you don't post your calendar, they make up where you are, so you might as well tell them. I mean, I mean, just be high-level meeting, or off the unit, or meeting with people individually, and you may have a sort of open, open time when people can come. So define where and how you want to be available to your staff. Also, you're going to make mistakes. You're part of the human race, and so we mess up. The good news is we mess up only daily, and so what do you want to do when you mess up? You know, the encouragement is to be honest, and to say, I messed up, or this, I'm really disappointed that we didn't get the outcome, and to be vulnerable with, this isn't the way I wanted things to go, or I made a poor decision, or circumstances change, and I'm going to change my mind, and that you are going to say, I'm going to do it differently moving forward, and then, you know, like feedback about is, if this is making a positive change in the right direction. So you're telling people, if you're going to adjust your behavior, tell them what you're doing, and why, and are you open to feedback for people to give that encouragement. So out of all the things that we've talked about, if you either can put in chat, or if you have a reaction icon that you can, an annotate button, and you want to put a star or a heart by any of these, that that would be helpful for maybe you to focus on. So out of the things that I've talked about, where are some things that you want to lean into that really are sticking for you, meaning, yeah, I need to work on that, I'm going to develop that, I'm going to spend some time on that, so you can either say it verbally, put in chat, or put a little emoji if you want to on any of the items in the, on the slide. Give me a moment to manage that, the annotation button is in your bar at the top or the bottom of your screen. And if you like, you can just go ahead and just type those comments there in the chat. So when I say what's sticking with you, of things that maybe you hadn't thought of, or that you need to revisit and lean into, it doesn't mean you're not doing it, but you want to sort of lean into some of these areas to strengthen your own leadership. Okay. Somebody put know and know your people and how to celebrate. I would say healthcare could do a whole bunch better as a, as a organization and a whole industry Vegas focused on illness and things that have gone wrong. We certainly want to celebrate all the rightness clarifying a team vision where you going, great. And visions have gotten shorter meaning we used to do visioning for five to 10 years and it's it's down to sometimes quarters or to a year vision where are we going to debt you know this year, or this quarter, because the world is shifting and changing so much. So somebody wants to talk about building trusting relationships. Now that's an ongoing it's it's built in teaspoons and destroyed in buckets. So, so important that you have strong trusting relationships and good working relationships. That's really helpful and setting expectations so simple name but set expectations and gain commitments along the way. And, you know, when, when you say I want to go here. I think it's really helpful to really emphasize what a success look like, I will be seeing, I will be hearing this when we get there. So people, you know, if you say well let's all get on the same page. What does that actually look like, because it's different for everybody that's a metaphor, and people can walk away thinking. I'm not sure what you really mean so if you meet very specific about behaviors, or the conversations that would be occurring. When you arrive, when you get success, what I'll be looking for. So helpful so that people know when they're there, and you know when you're there as well. So I'm going to move forward thanks for your extra comments, and we're going to move into the desk so another moment of looking in the mirror, understanding yourself, and it's also a way to get to know your team. I have the link for a free version if you want to do that, give a little background William Marston was the person that developed the theory back in the 20s, like most of the psychometric assessment tools, they were developed much much earlier decades before the psychometric, the science of assessments actually developed so in 1972 the dis model was actually developed and they continue to refine and have many, many, many different models there's desk work of leaders desk with EQ desk with five dysfunctions So they expanded their, their suite and portfolio that gives you how do you actually apply this in certain circumstances, but we have Marston was really looking and it's around the assumptions that successful people understand themselves and can manage their own behavior. That's a huge task all in of itself is to manage yourself and understanding how you impact other people. So, what are people's responses and reactions to you, and how do you maximize what what you can do well, and keep a positive attitude about themselves weaknesses so how do you leverage what's going well and and delegate or leverage other folks, other strengths. So how do you adapt your behavior. the wisdom to know I can adapt or when do I adapt. So, Marston's model, and you may have seen this in a circle or squares all kind of things is really based on this two by two model about the impact of the environment. your energy. So let's first focus, if we just, if we cut this square vertically so that you have right and left halves that influence and the steadiness style is people focused first and then task. So they are generally accepting and very people focused. They generally know whose birthday it is and how people are feeling the general mood of the group. They're very empathetic and people talk to them they open up. They're very receptive and agreeable and that comes first before focus on task and I don't mean always but this is a general preference. And so you have the influence styles and the steadiness style. And the other side of it is task first and then people or people's feelings. So it's usually focused on questioning and logic, very focused driven, sometimes skeptical or challenging they might be devil's advocate well have we thought about this will have you concerned, you know, address this. So they often have some, a lot of questions. And, you know, it's about get your, your, you know, you can play after you get your work done. So first I got to do this task and then I'll deal with the impact it's having on people, whereas the, the, the other side is focused on how people are going to respond and then you get the task done. Generally, when you split the model horizontally so you have top and bottom, the top the dominance and the influence style is very proactive to the environment meaning they're very active they want to make changes they're very bold. They're first to speak, they have an idea of how it should go. They're very dynamic can be very influential, and let's do it this way or my idea is great. And so that you'll see them talking a lot and being very proactive in the environment, the consciousness and steadiness folks are more slower not in any kind of intelligence kind of way but more thoughtful and moderate paced calm and methodical, and they often think before they respond so they're assessing the situation and are slower to respond their best thoughts come a little bit later and not immediately. And so when you look at this two by two grid you can sort of how do I focus on people then task or the other way around. And am I sort of active engaged and talkative and, and dynamic meaning very influential, or am I more thoughtful and considerate, you would find yourself falling into one of these four major categories. Now, if you just, if you didn't have the test so you can just say oh you know this is the area where I would fall in, and you can look at your results to see if did that capture where you think, and most describes you. So the motivation of these four categories, is that the dominance folks are really often desire to be in charges, what is named dominance is they want to be in charge and set the standards they're very quick to see their way is the only way and they're quick to come to decisions of problem solving and have a. Let's get her done. No nonsense. Let's get some action and let's go and get going. The influence style is really around creating a friendly environment, having some flexibility and freedom let's have some options and choice, very optimistic and engaged in the people process of the environment and their work and not just only focused on get it done so that's how they differ from the dominance, the steadiness folks are motivated to be a support to their usually really good team players because they want to be supportive. They want to meet expectations. They often are very steady workers they have a plan they work the plan, get a little upset when the plan changes. They methodically work through a process. And then the conscientious folks are interested in quality work and getting things accurate. So accuracy and quality are their main concerns so they check things three times before they send it out they practice their presentation, they, they want to make sure they have all the T's crossed and the eyes dotted very accurate cautious. Let's wait was practice let's make sure a lot of questions as well because they want to all be accurate. So, this may also speak to some about where you fall in your preference, and it doesn't mean that you only do one thing. So we are made up of all four of these energies is just which one do you have a preference for and how strong of a preference, the stronger the preference for one style means it just takes energy to behave differently. I'm not here to change anybody's core being. differently based on the circumstances because while you may have one style you have all four of these working in your team so how do you interact with them how do you adapt to them how to communicate with them. How do you build all these and align all these strengths and availability. So we're gonna do another poll. And so Lindsay is going to put up, which one is your strongest style. Again, you may have more than one but what's your strongest style, and I'll let you just vote on the poll and then Lindsay will tell us when it's ready to show so we can see who's in the room. And you can do this with your team. Lots of you putting in your responses here. And then again if you have questions for Sarah throughout the presentation go ahead and we type in those into the q amp a option at the bottom of your zoom window or of course you can utilize the chat as well. I want to make sure that we have those questions ready for the conclusion of the presentation. So those of you who may not have had an opportunity to complete this assessment yet maybe you're using the descriptions that Sarah gave in the previous two slides to answer this polling question here I will go ahead and link the assessment there again for you in the chat so you can officially take that quiz possibly at the conclusion of today's presentation and as Sarah mentioned you can share it amongst your teams as well. And then the, the free version they use C as compliance and other desk instruments C stands for conscientious but it's the same. Same terms and abilities. It looks like we've gotten some good responses here go ahead and end that and share those results. I have to be very careful about what I say. So, all those folks that are accuracy based with a little more even on the D is part so great. All of them are correct. All great leaders can be any one of those four, and part of this is just knowing your strength. And where does it help you and where does it get in the way. So you should have these in your handouts as well but we just spend a moment about looking at strengths and challenges so you see that, that the dominance folks are very straightforward and can make a decision under pressure, they have to be careful They may be so quick to action that they don't slow down enough to listen, and they don't, you don't want to move into the my way is the highway kind of thing that you're still open to feedback. The influencers again are great with people skills and communication skills, and they their challenge is, is accountability and structure and organization not being so focused on people that you don't get things done so really focusing on accountability and being aware of being too personal with some of your folks and alienating others, the steadiness folks, again, get along with a lot of different personalities are very consistent in their work. They are challenged with with dealing with conflict and change of plans rapidly. And sometimes difficult expressing their, their true opinion because they don't, they want to get along with everybody and they don't want to offend anybody so maybe slower to speak about their true opinion. And then the majority of this class happens to be this conscientious or compliance style. You're okay with working well independently in fact you would prefer, give me my task and then let me go away and work. Stop bothering me with all these meetings that I have to go to. So the challenge then is that balance of accuracy and moving forward that you not get stuck in the analysis paralysis or being such a perfectionist that you can't move forward because it's not perfect. It has to be good enough for now good enough for what we need good enough with the information that I have currently, and you can struggle when there's a lot of interpersonal demands on the job. And there can be with team dynamics. I'm a huge fan of a writer and I put this in the resources of Cy Wakeman, who's done a lot of work around drama in the workplace and I would say healthcare has a lot of potential for drama, but her research says that the average amount of time spent with drama and conscientious folks would talk about that and conflicts the people that was asking about conflicts and disagreements, the average time spent in drama on the workplace is, and this is all industries, two and a half hours per person per day. If you multiply quickly how many people you have. That's the number of hours that can get complicated by conflict and drama and complaining and, you know, fussing when they don't have control over stuff. So, that is particularly troublesome to the conscientious folks because they see it getting in way of accuracy and depth. Alright, so here's some tips and you'll have these to take with you. But this chart just want to give you is assume that you're dealing with another style, or your own and we'll start at C since we have so many C's in the room. So if you're dealing with another C and you are a C, these still apply. So, what you have on the top is suggestions of how to best communicate with them. So for C's you want to make sure that there's accuracy, deadlines, expectations, not a lot of storytelling, not a lot of emotion in that being very precise and having very high standards. So that's what you want to meet them with. And then if you, the bottom part of each one when it says be prepared for, this is how they may come across to you, even if you are the same style, but if you're a different style, this is very different for you. So, you know, they, they may not be able to stay in the gray zone, they want black or white, they want this answer that answer so they may not be very comfortable with the ambiguity, they want time to double check their work, and they don't need to have a lot of interaction with other people as well they just want to, you know, get busy doing their work. So if you're a leader and demanding some team efforts or team building there may be less likely to be involved in that because they see it more interfering with their own work to be done. So each of these styles, you can see and read. not strict rules. And then what to watch out for. empathy and sensitivity. And then for the, the influencers you want to approach them more relaxed and socially How was your weekend. How are the kids, and while you may think that's a time waster, if it engages your audience, it's a time value added and be prepared prepared that, that they may want to influence things they're going to want to, you know, get everybody on board or hear what people think they may need some spotlight, people, usually we influencers like attention, and they can get wounded by if you reject their idea, they feel rejected personally. So this this area more than others is, you certainly want to say thank you for your effort we're not taking your idea forward. But I really love that you created this option so appreciating their effort and not always there. I mean if you have to reject their result. And then the steadiness again, you want to be logical and detail oriented, let them know how things are going and how it's going to work, and be prepared for some resistance to change and difficulty with deadlines, particularly if they're changed, because they had a plan you might have changed those. So hopefully these are helpful to think, and probably what's the best thing to do is put some names, who are your DS in your world who are your eyes and s and c's in your world, put some names so you can say, this is how I could shift my communication again, not asking you to change who you are, you're shifting in, so that you can meet your audience and talk their language and not expect everybody to talk your language. So, lots of good books on on these profiles, again, the preference that you have doesn't mean you do it well or effectively. So there's always room to look at, well this is the way I've always done it. Want to look at how effective am I being. Am I building trusting relationships, or is my team aligned with where we're going. And do they feel appreciated and valued. So, the next skill then adding all of your, your skills and abilities is communicating with others. And the research continues to say this is the number one skill in the research. And why it's so important to, to discuss communication is that it's never finished, but we're never not communicating. So by not answering, you're communicating. If you don't give an answer, you don't give a response, that is communication. And the research from CC, the Center for Creative Leadership and many other sources, it is the number one skill needed for leaders to succeed. And reversely, when communication is done poorly, it's the number one career derailer. So you can get up to a certain point, and then if you're not a great communicator, keep working on your communication skills, it can actually derail your career. So really important. I teach it all the time. My family would say, I still need to work on it. So we're never there, and we're a work in progress. So I wanna share a basic model that I find helpful in understanding relationships. This also comes to play when we're talking about conflict management as well. So in any kind of relationship, there are two or more people, but let's say in a relationship, there is the side of sort of me and you, or us and them. And let's say for example, in teaching this class, I have an intention to share some information on best practices around leadership. That's my intent is to share practical ways that you can actually improve or enrich your own successful career. So I have an intent and my behavior, you're watching it on the screen about polls and talking and sharing and giving slides. So as a recipient of that, you are seeing my behavior and it has an impact on you. You either like it, you don't like it, or it's neutral. And we'll find that out if we do a survey, you can say, well, that landed well, that didn't land well, or whatever. And so you own two thirds of the interaction, I own two thirds and where we share it is in the behavior. What am I actually doing? And does my intent line up with the impact that I want? My intent is to give you some useful information around leadership skills. And only you can tell me whether it was helpful or not, because that's where that the impact belongs in your realm of the circles. So most people, when they get into conflict, it's usually when there's like a positive intention and it lands poorly. So perhaps you sent an email and people just got irate about your email and you're like, what, why did you read it like that? So we usually get caught off guard when we think we're up to something good and it lands poorly. If you're up to something negative and you wanna screw up somebody's work day or whatever, and you do, then you have a negative intention and it lands negatively, that's actually what would be called success in a sort of weird way. If you wanna help somebody and they find it helpful, that's a plus plus, meaning positive intention and it lands positively. And again, many times we go through life without much of that feedback coming to us. And as leader, you need to be the role model in providing way more feedback than we actually do in healthcare is what is the impact? And so if that interaction went well, hey, the family seemed really pleased by your interaction with them. You really were thorough in answering that question. Your report today was really helpful. So I knew how to move forward after you left. What was their intent and what was the impact? So you see on the side that it's helpful that you share your intention out loud more often than we think. This is one place that we sort of fall short as human beings is that we know what our intent is or what we know what motivates us and we just go about behaving. And oftentimes we say, well, this is who I am. This seems to work. Nobody else has a problem with it, but we don't actually narrate it. Let's say that I'm working with Lindsay and Lindsay's telling me she's gonna go on vacation and I wanna help Lindsay. I was like, while she's gone, I'm gonna straighten up her desk. I'm just gonna clean her office. Well, that may be the very wrong thing to do. So unless I say, hey, Lindsay, I wanna help you out while you're on vacation, what could I do that would be helpful? And she tells me and I do it, I'm much more likely to have a successful than just me thinking what might be good and going about doing that without narrating it. When we say to a patient, if they say, I'm really hurting. I need some pain medicine. And we say, well, I have to get an order from your doctor and then we have to get to pharmacy and then I'll have to walk to pharmacy or get it to the unit and delivered. That is all your intention of getting it done. What the patient hears is it's not gonna be done or it's not gonna be done fast. So to say, I wanna help your pain and I will do the steps needed to contact your doctor and get it to the pharmacy so I can get it to you as fast as possible. So part of it is just narrating what you're actually doing, but we keep it in our head. And we think because we wanna help people that everything that we do, people see it that way. And they often have very different lenses. So we cut people open, we fix broken parts and pieces and we put catheters in places that shouldn't have them and they have to be in these awful robes and they may not like the food we serve them and then we send them a bill and then we expect them to be happy about all that. So it's all for their good and yet we don't always narrate. So how can you share? My intention of this meeting is to make a decision about such and such. My intention about calling you in the office is to address some behaviors I'm concerned about or my intention to bring you in the office is I wanna celebrate what you just did and accomplished. Or my intention in meeting with you is I want a good working relationship and something's gone awry or I feel like something's missing. So you're saying out loud what you're up to and before you just start behaving, you start doing your behaviors. Likewise, on the recipient side, if something lands positively for you, it's great to say, hey, that was really great or I really appreciate it or this saved me time. What was the actual impact on you? Or if you didn't like it to say that hurt my feelings, I had to do some rework because of that, this slowed me down. What was the actual impact? If you share that and say, hey, I just wanna check with were you aware of that or what had you hoped would happen? Can we revisit that? Most of the times that people are like, oh my gosh, something bad happened. I'm so sorry. You'll see immediately that that was not their intent. If it was their intent, you're like, oh, good. Well, I'm glad you felt that way because I wanted to mess you up. Again, less likely. So people don't know what true impact they have on the world unless people tell them from the impact side. And you don't own the whole thing. So you can't say I had a good intent, therefore I am good. People that receive your behavior have to tell you that. So that's simple when it's just two of us in a quiet room or whatever. But imagine a workstation where you have 30 or 40 people coming in and out and these bubbles are colliding and all over the place. You may get confused about where am I? What part of the bubble am I on? So if I have an intent to share information and I behave and then somebody said, Sarah, I don't get what you just said. You've told me the impact that now your intent is I need some clarification. So that has a positive impact on me. It's like, great, I'd be glad to clarify or I don't know why I should have to clarify that. Either way, it impacted me. We switch bubbles. And so these bubbles are continuously going back and forth which is why human relationships is pretty tricky. But I think this model is helpful in just figuring out what's my part and what do I need to be sharing about? Is it my intention or is it the impact? And then ask out of curiosity, not a curiosity, not being angry, but asking them what was their take or what was their intent? If you have any questions, shoot those in the Q&A. I'm gonna move forward with looking at communication. This is an old, old study that was done like in the 20s. It keeps being replicated and it keeps being true. So when you think about I'm a good communicator, it has lots of different parts. That is a huge bucket. And again, I can talk and have talked for a six hour class around communication because it's so complicated and complex really. So out of all the things that the ways that we communicate, what impact or meaning comes from the words themselves? And anybody has a guess, they can pop it in the chat versus the tone of voice or body language. What the research continues to show is that only 7% of the meaning or the impact comes from the words themselves. So think about all the emails we send and how little effectiveness that might have if there's not clarity and understanding and context. It's also why people go to a movie and maybe it's a movie from a book and two people go to see the movie and somebody says, that's exactly like the book. And same person go, that is nothing like the book. And you read the same book, but again, the images that came up with and the pictures in your own brain may have interpreted that very differently. So the interpretation really shifts. The tone of voice adds 38% to the effectiveness of the impact, which is why in all of our emails, we add emojis and caps and hearts and LOLs and all that kind of stuff to give context. And then body language is a whopping 55%. So another way of saying this is 93% of the meaning comes from everything except the words. And so that's why body language is so important. And then if I say, yeah, I'd be glad to help you just let me know when I can do that. When mind helping, my body's screaming, don't even think about calling me. And you're gonna believe the body language, not the words. And if I report to my boss, I offered help and they didn't take me up on it, it's because your body language might've been screaming. So the body language and the tone of voice is hard sometimes to capture or to really document. And that is a huge part of effective communication is that nonverbal piece. So here's one that shows some examples of let's say you typed this email. I'm gonna say it with an emphasis on a different word each time I say it and think about the change in meaning. I did not say you took the laptop, parentheses, somebody else did. I did not say you took the laptop, I might've thought it, parentheses. I did not say you took the laptop, somebody did. I did not say you took the laptop, maybe you borrowed it. I did not say you took the laptop, you took something else. So if I typed just the words themselves with no bold and no underlining, I don't know how you're reading that. You could read it with an emphasis on any one of those words and it has a totally different meaning. So hence why we have so many email dramas that you type a simple sentence and people can read it with a different emphasis, different context, and it changes everything. And once you send it, you're not responsible about how people read it. And so getting their feedback is hugely important. The other thing that complicates communication is our brain, this little piece in the top of our head. So ask a challenge question, you can type in the chat or just think to yourself, what do you think the average number of words per minute people can speak? Average means North, South, male, female, the average number of words per minute that people speak. Think about a number in head. And so the research says about 150 words per minute. What do you think our ability to process, listen, process data is words per minute? Is it less or more? Many times I've taught this class, most people guess less, about half less, when in fact it's three times as much. So what that means is that our brain can process things very quickly. And so my teaching this class may sound like slow and way too slow to your brain because you're maybe able to multitask or do something else and listen. And yet it really challenges us to slow down and listen to one person speak. Our brain wants to jump in all different places. So slowing down the brain enough to actually listen to a person is huge. So some helpful hints in communicating is use very concrete, specific behavioral words, not metaphors, or let's do a great job, not specific enough. So what does great look like? Speak in short sentences, stop and wait for questions, add feeling and intentions behind it to give context. Don't assume because you sent the email or said it once people understand it or aligned with it. Be careful of drama language, like they always do this. They never do that. They do this to us. Those are drama introduction words. And single words can make a difference. So you know that my company name is Ampersand. I'm a huge fan of and, I think it's the power word of the century. If I say to you, that's a nice color you're wearing, but what are you expecting? You did a great job with the Smith family, but. So as soon as we add the word, but to a sentence, it actually just erased what we just said. And you're expecting something bad. So you're sort of bracing up for a fight. When we replace that with and instead of but, it changes the whole context. When you wore that color yesterday, it was really great. And I really love when you wore red, or I really liked the way you work with the Smith family. And I think we could take some of those tools to help us with this current situation. Or, and I had another thought that might be a little better. So saying and instead of but, and most people don't even hear the buts that we say so many times. I often say I have a big but right there because I've been talking about this for so long. I can hear the word but, and I cringe sometimes. A simple change in and can reduce the resistance, can, particularly if you give a compliment and then you say, but this is, you could use some work on this. They've forgotten you compliment them. So you're actually destroying your efforts to celebrate them. So I challenge you to listen for the buts and change to and. It makes such a huge difference in conversation. So I wanna teach a model about how to listen. So we've been talking a lot about communication, speaking and writing, but part of communication is listening. And this is the less, least taught skill. You may have been to some classes. I wanna present a model that I've been trained in called listening to understand. It's not for every time. It's not for every conversation. It's very helpful when there's a lot of emotion, a lot of detail and the relationship's important. And do you think that's part of healthcare? I think that's many times in our healthcare. It is also helpful if they are blaming you or somebody else for something that's happened, if they are questioning a strategy, a vision, a tactic, a change initiative, and if they're concerned about a relationship. These are times when you can use this model to listen to understand. So I often say that like if you're doing a drive-through through McDonald's and they mess up your order, you don't have to listen to understand about why they messed up your order. But this is and, I just said but. And this is really helpful to use in many, many times in healthcare. So it's got four parts. Tuning in, understanding, say what you understand, and pause. And I will say tuning in means you're being aware, mouth shut. Understanding, brain's working, mouth shut. Say what you understand, speaking part, mouth can open, pause, mouth shut. So good ratio, three to one, keep your mouth shut while you're listening, and processing. So a little bit more about each one of these parts and then we'll sort of apply it and put it together. So when you tune in, you may have learned many ways of minimizing distraction. If you're easily distracted, you may need to have a private conversation or pull away from some hectic stuff. Making eye contact is helpful. Many of you all train if you're talking to patients to get on the bedside level versus talking over them. With peers, you might wanna sit down versus standing up. And inviting the conversation, I need to hear more about this. You seem upset, you seem to have something in your mind. Would you mind telling me about this? So you're inviting the conversation and tuning in to the emotions and what's going on with you and them. And then you do the process, what our brain and heart does, is understanding what's going on. You're decoding what I really am saying. So you may need to say what you don't understand if it's something complex or convoluted, but you mainly wanna focus on, what am I understanding about this message, about what they're saying? So you don't wanna get them too off track with too many questions and irrelevant information. You wanna notice their feelings and what the content is about. So the speaking part on step three is saying what you understand, not that you understand. I've heard many people, somebody goes off on a tirade or telling you something, you go, oh yeah, I get it. Yep, I get it, I understand. And we're not really clear on what you understand yet. So I may think I know what you are saying or understand, but it may, again, be a little off kilter or may not have gotten it quite right. So the two things to really focus your understanding on is feeling and content. And this model, listening to understand, does not mean that you agree with them. You're just saying what I get is that you're really upset about the schedule that just came out. So upset about the schedule. So you don't want to clarify too often or too quickly because that'll sound like what listening class did you go to, what you know you're being a parrot, you don't want to just parrot what they say in your own words, in your own way, in a relational kind of way. Wow, you seem excited about getting this new grant, or you seem really worried about the number of admissions we just had. So really honing it down to what's the feeling that they're emoting, they may or may not say the feeling, but you're looking for those feelings. And then what's the content? What is it about? Then you pause. And if you get it close, or if you get it right, they will do this amazing thing. They do this. Even if they're upset, they'll go, yes, that's right. And then it's just the beginning of the conversation. So they may say more about it, but you sort of passed the first test of yes, they were listening. So you pause after you say that, and watch their response, waiting to see if you got it right. If they had, if it was sort of complex, and they both seemed sad and mad, and you say, well, you seemed really sad about this. It's like, well, I'm also mad because this shouldn't happen. Whatever. They'll add to it, but it, and at least that they know that you're trying. So you may need to give them some silence. That's the point of the pause, is they need to think, is that what I meant? Is that what I said? Is that what I wanted to get across? So once you say, wow, you seem really upset about this, they think, you know, there's a little pause to say, yep, that's right. Or you got part of it, and not all of it. So that's the purpose of the pause. And you saw that in a circle, because it may need to repeat it several times. And there have been times when the story gets longer, and they keep adding to it. It doesn't mean they're changing the story. It means that you are serving as a trusted listener, and so they get closer to the truth, and more revealing about what's really going on. Sometimes people have opening lines just to hook you in, or to see if you're listening, and it may not be what's really going on. So I want a chance to practice a couple scenarios, and to think about how you would, what you would say back to them about feeling and content. This is a very simple process. It is not easy to do, particularly if people are escalated. I worked in behavioral health for over 25 years, and the two things I learned never to say to people is, I know how you're feeling, because we don't, and calm down. When you say those things, they always got more escalated. What I found is that when you listen to understand, they actually get calmer, because many times people get upset because they don't feel acknowledged or understood. This does both, is that they're listening to me, and they get my feeling, and what it's about. And again, it's not just a simple phrase, and that's the end of the conversation. It is only the beginning of a conversation. So let's say that I'm with you, and so I'm the speaker. Let me get a little animated here for a second, and to think about what message are you picking up. So this is the second time I've called. I've been transferred three times already. You need to get it together, and I've been patient a long time, and I really expect better than this. So if this comes out of the blue, you may be startled, like, whoa, what's happening? The other thing I would not say is, let's start over, because people don't like to repeat themselves. So based on my tone, you know, what feeling, and you can also read it, of course. So what feeling are you getting from this that you would say back to me, and what is it about? I've given you actually a couple things. So you can write in the chat, come off mute. If you'd ever like to verbally respond out of this format, it's a little bit different, so you can raise your hand. I can give you the option to unmute, or of course, like Sarah said, you can utilize the chat to type in your response here. And you can just put feeling plus whatever it is. And I would say for this one, also brings to mind that we get, so Allie says frustration, absolutely. And there may be many words, you know, your word may be frustration. I may say mad. It's great just to pick a word, angry, frustration, right? And so what is it about? Often we get upset by single behavior, then we get upset by patterns of behavior, and then we just hate them, you know, if it's a longstanding relationship. So I would say for this one, the words here that are written is really about a pattern. This is the second time I've called, I've been transferred three times, not just a single time. So somebody said disrespected, angry and dismissed. So here's somebody listening to understand, I'm sorry that you've been transferred so many times, I will help you get to the right department. Here's the direct number in case you get disconnected. Great, great customer service. And so the thing that I would add to that is, before you apologize, is just to clarify, oh my gosh, being transferred that many times is really frustrating. You're just acknowledging where they are before you start solving or apologizing. Apology is never wrong. I think apologizing for their experience, oh goodness, being transferred that many times is really frustrating. You're just acknowledging where they are and then say, I'm going to give you the, I'm going to transfer you to the person you need to be. And if, in case we get disconnected, here's the number or whatever, just a little add to that. And I think what, I can't see the name, CD, who was that? That was really good too. Christy. Okay, Christy, that was great. So feeling angry and dismissed. So yeah, having to call multiple times, having to call multiple times, being transferred is really not very helpful. Keep rolling over the roll bar. All right. So the next one, let me go jump down to the fourth one. What do you mean I have to reschedule my appointment? I have waited two months for this appointment. This is ridiculous. So again, what's the feeling and what's the content? If you can imagine what scenario, again, this is an opening line. So anybody made an appointment with the doctor and then, you know, a year ahead of time, and then it has to get scheduled or months ahead of time and it gets scheduled, your situation's messed up. So again, let's see, I apologize. Let's see, impatient, angry, yeah. Disrespected, you know, it's like, oh, you can reschedule the appointment, but I can't, or I've been planning on this, or I'm really eager to get the appointment. I mean, you know, if you've waited two months for an appointment and then have to wait longer, you know, what does that bring up for you as far as like, you know, are you scared? Are you worried or you're impatient? You're angry. You're feel less than you feel disrespected. All kinds of things could be coming up. So, you know, you could take a stab at any of that. It's like, oh my gosh, I know you've waited too much. Seems like, you know, a long time and we need to reschedule. Let me get you the first available. So then you can go into problem solving. First, you want to just say, oh my gosh, waiting, having to reschedule is, it really messes up your calendar and you just want like, you know, darn straight, they may say. That's a way of agreeing with you. You want them to agree with what you just said, which is basically saying back to them what they said, but you're aligned at that point. Yep, that's what we're talking about. Now you go into problem solving. So again, it's a little add before you jump into problem solving. Sometimes if you happen to get it not quite right and you solve for the wrong thing, they'll get madder. So if you acknowledge how they're feeling, they actually, their emotional amygdala starts deregulating and calming themselves down because they get the message. Somebody really is listening and understands and that brings the tone down. They'll calm themselves down and they're ready for the fix. If you try to fix or solve a problem when people are still irate, they can't even hear it. Sometimes they don't even hear it or can't, they just, they don't feel heard yet. So this is a huge part of customer service, but it's about people relationship and it takes no creativity. You're only giving back to them what you heard them say and waiting for their acknowledgement and then continuing. It's like, would you like me to, you know, move forward with this or I have a solution. Are you ready to talk about that? They may need to blow some more steam before you give your advice. If you've ever given great advice and people don't do it, sometimes they just haven't, they're not ready to receive it until they're calmer to actually hear it. So the waiting times, number two, you've been waiting for over 30 minutes. My mother's in pain. Her condition is delicate, you know, and I have a full-time job where I'm supposed to be right now. You people act like you have all the time in the world to wait on. So again, complications, I mean, you know, it's not just the waiting. It's my mother's in pain. She's fragile. I'm trying to balance work and home or work and personal life. I feel disrespected. You know, urgency means, you know, if you're jumping around and moving quickly, it means you care. If you're slow to respond, it means you don't care. Sometimes our patients tell us that. So if they're not seeing a lot of action quickly, they may interpret that as you don't care. When you do care, you're doing 10 other things or you have a priority or something like that, but you want to acknowledge, oh my gosh, it's, it's scary to deal, have to be with somebody that's in pain and waiting is hard, particularly when you're in pain. Let's see what I can do, or let's, let me tell you when it's going to come. So at least they know more. I want to help. You would say, I want to help your mother with this pain. I want to give you the information you need. That's your intention. Say it out loud, not just jumping into action, because many times they don't see our action because it's down the hall in the work room on the computer. They can't see that. So you have to tell them what you're doing when you're ready to solve. So that is a simple, not easy process to do is can you pause long enough to repeat feeling and content for people that either have a lot of emotion, a lot of detail, their relationship's important. I will say that this works at home as well. I have two grown young adult daughters now, but when they were kids and they were both redheads, so they get in the car and they're like, I don't have any friends, you know, and slam the door. I could say, yes, you do. You're married. Kate's your friend. Mackenzie's your friend. Yeah. They say, forget it, mom. You're just not listening. If I say, oh my gosh, something happened at school with one of your friends, it sounds like, and then let them continue on. They'll probably tell me more about it because I've gotten the feeling and the content. I'm not trying to fix it or make it better before I even listen. And so they'll tell me about it. And I'm willing to listen to that whole story because they're my daughters. And at the end of it, I want them to walk away with mom listens versus mom doesn't understand. So the value of feeling heard, understood, respected, your IQ level goes up. They're like, wow, this person really has it together because they get me. They understand me. Works with employees, works with patients and families, lots of opportunity to practice. I would caution. The only thing to say is, so what I hear you saying is blah, blah, blah. If you add that word, I think people have heard it too many times. And I think, what class did you go to? So it has to be in your own way to say, you know, oh my gosh, Lindsay, you seem really upset about this, or you know, call my name or in a way that's related to them. So I've given you several items to think about, or you can't change everything. You might want to just lean into a couple things that we talked about earlier. In your workbook, you have a model here about, you know, are there things that I'm doing that maybe I need to stop or slow down? Are there some new behaviors that might be helpful to add to my leadership repertoire? And what am I doing? Just great. And I need to continue that. This is not a change all, do all. This is find one or two things and begin in baby steps. If you say, I'm going to be clear about my expectations, pick one meeting or one interaction. You know, I'm going to do it twice this week instead of every conversation. So pick some times and some markers where you can actually see your success. And I acknowledge I'm making progress. I'm working on this. Or it's much harder if you stop a behavior. People often can't see that, see that you're working on that. But if you're going to say, I'm going to not multitask, I'm going to put my pencil down and turn and face people when they're talking to me. So there's a chance that I'll listen to them versus multitasking. So I'm going to stop looking busy while trying to listen at the same time. That may be something that's really hard for people to even see. Because if you do it one time, you haven't really stopped. But you can make progress. Slow baby steps. So Lindsay, I think I'm going to stop here and see if there's any questions at this point or any applications. What about, you know, this situation or whatever? Perfect. Thank you so much, Sarah. I see one comment here. I think this is when we're going over the DISC assessment earlier that said that these seem to correlate with the Studer's self-assessment degree. Don't know enough to agree. Sounds like the person knows more about Studer. I mean, I know who Studer is. I'm just not familiar with their assessment at this point. If it's in line and makes sense, then, you know, use what you know. But it seems like it's sort of fitting into information that they already know. Absolutely. Okay. I don't see any other questions here at this time. And I know that you all have the handouts that I linked earlier. I'll go ahead and link those again here in the chat for you as well. So if you have not had a chance to access those and print those out, then maybe this action plan that Sarah has on the screen here will be helpful for you to do after the fact and apply it to any of your situations that you're currently experiencing in your environments at this time. So I will go ahead and link those there for you in the chat. Yeah, no, I just want to check in because my intention was to give you something, a couple tools that you could take, maybe one or two tools that might be helpful for your own leadership. So in the chat, if you're taking one or more or two tools away from this interaction, could you put a plus sign in the chat? So just so I know if you found something that's useful and helpful to enhance your leadership, just the plus sign. Perfect, I see a lot of those coming in here. Getting some pluses. So thank you. That again helps me align my intent is to do it. And if you tell me you did it, then we're aligned. And so I appreciate your participation in the class and onward to great leadership. And we do have another class in two weeks, right? We do. Yep. Two weeks from today. So May 28th is part two of the series. So I look forward to you all being back with us then. I'm going to go ahead and post the link there for that assessment as well there in the chat. So I did provide a couple of things there for you in the chat. Now, just as a quick reminder, you will all receive an email tomorrow morning, but just note that it does come from educationnoreplyatzoom.us. And so because it comes from that Zoom email address, those emails do seem to get caught up in spam, quarantine, junk folders very often. So if you don't see that in your inbox in the morning, I would encourage you to check those additional folders. And then of course, if it's still not there and you'd just like to go back and maybe access the recording of today's session to listen to something that Sarah said again, or share this recording with your colleagues, you can use the same Zoom link that you used to join today's live presentation to also access that recording. And then just note that the link to the recording is available for 60 days from today's date. And then we do have an additional security measure in place so that we are protecting Sarah's intellectual property here of manually approving each of those recording access requests. So you'll need to click on that Zoom link, type in your information, that will prompt an email to come to us for approval. We typically approve those requests very quickly, honestly within a few moments of receiving the request, but we just ask that you give us one business day to grant those approvals. And then once that is done, you'll receive a confirmation email from Zoom letting you know that you now have access into the recording and that link will be available for you there. And then I did go ahead and provide again a link there for you in the chat to the slides that Sarah presented for you today, to the handouts, and then also again a link to the DISC personality assessments that you can share all of that information with your colleagues as well. And as Sarah mentioned, we'll be back for part two on May 28th at 10 a.m. Eastern time, so be on the lookout in your email for the Zoom information to join that session. We thank you so much for joining us today. I know that this information is helpful for me, some that I had the opportunity to hear from Sarah, and so I hope that you all found value and will continue to in part two of our series. If we can answer any questions before part two, you can always reach out to us at education at gha.org, and if it's a question for Sarah, we're happy to get that over to her as well. Thank you all so much for joining us and for engaging with us today. That's very helpful. We look forward to seeing you back here with us in a couple of weeks. Thank you so much, Sarah, for your time and all the information that you shared with us, and I hope you all have a wonderful afternoon. Thank you so much. Bye. Bye-bye. Bye.

Sarah Kimball Arnett

healthcare professional

new leaders

transitioning

self-awareness

team development

communication

building trust

clear expectations

DISC model

feedback

continuous growth

personality styles

Listening to Understand model